Zero Regrets
by asobi seksu
Summary: He's Britannian, she's Japanese. He's the Knight of Three, she's the Ace of the Black Knights. Yet they'll fall in love, one moment at a time. In him she finds a Knight who won't let her down, in her he finds his first love. Kallen/Gino
1. Chapter 1

A gathering sat at the edge of the marble coffin which Lelouch's body laid. Nunnally was in a flood of tears, now whispering, now crying out, choking over words and breaking into loud lamentations. She grieved with an abundance of speech, neither distracted nor embarrassed by strangers. She clung to the body and could scarcely be torn away when it came time to carry the body away to be washed and to be cremated.

But that was yesterday. Today the frenzy of her grief had abated, and she sat demurely in her wheelchair, giving way to a weary numbness. She sat in silence, though still only in half consciousness of herself and her surroundings.

To the right, there was Jeremiah Gottwald and Prince Schneizel, also silent with grief. Lloyd and Cecile paid their proper respects. Much of the old noble families came and went; they had pledged to his allegiance a long time ago.

But there were two people in the gathering, a man and a woman, who stood out from the rest. Yet they did not claim any closer tie to the deceased than the others. They did not compete in sorrow with Nunnally. But though they made no claims, they evidently had their own special rights over the dead man, and no one questioned or disputed the undeclared authority that they had unaccountably assumed. Their composure was remarkable and it produced a strange impression, as if they were involved not only in the funeral but also his death, not in the sense that of having directly or indirectly caused it but as people who, once it occurred, had given their consent to it, reconciled, and did not see it as the most important event in the story of Lelouch. A few of the mourners vaguely recognized the woman, a few surmised who they were, but most had no idea. Nunnally and Jeremiah recognized both of them and understood.

Yet, as the man came in the oval shaped room with the casually beautiful woman on his side, everybody at once without a single protest went outside to the corridors. They left the couple inside, closing the door like two experts who needed, quietly, unhindered, to accomplish something directly connected to the funeral, and vitally important.

So it was now. They spoke in low voices, in fluent Japanese in order to prevent Britannian eavesdroppers from listening to their conversation.

"I do not understand why it has to be me, Suzaku. Why not Nunnally, who knows the entire story?"

"She is a princess, Kallen. A princess who can't even walk."

"Yet strong enough to shoulder the sins of FLEIJA."

"That was necessary, perhaps."

Kallen let it go. Nursing a grudge would do nothing to help Lelouch, and the last thing he wanted her to do would to blame his sister for his mistakes.

"You have not answered my question before. What is it that you want me to do?"

"I only wanted you to understand my existence. I believe that since you and I were among the first to discover the identity of Zero, it should be only fitting that you, Kouzaki Kallen should be one out of four people in the whole world who recognize Suzaku Kururugi as Zero."

"That's a lie. You want me to be on your side. You only want someone who you can use."

He turned away. "I can hardly bear the burden of murdering my best friend by myself, Kallen. Surely Lelouch would want us former enemies to be reconciled at the very end."

Kallen fixed her blue eyes on Lelouch, who seemed only to be sleeping peacefully. She remembered his look a nanosecond after she had kissed him. She remembered the tiny flicker of movement his brilliant eyes made, reflecting a boyish helplessness, unable to react. And that was all that mattered.

"My God, Suzaku," she murmured quietly. "How did you do it? I've spent my days feeling ashamed of myself when my comrades celebrated his death."

His voice came out raw. "It's been hell."

Kallen saw past his disguise, through his anguish and his horror from killing not one but two of the people he believed in the most. The memories were going to be a burden for the rest of his life. He was going to be denied happiness and the joys of life a seventeen year old boy ought to have. She was lucky. She had betrayed Lelouch. Yet it was _she_ who was allowed to show her face in public and have a possible normal future after this.

"I'm sorry... for acting out against you. If I knew what you had to do, I wouldn't have..."

"Killed me? Let me tell you, Kallen, your anger at being used was one of the variables Lelouch counted on in order to erase my human existence."

"Then I am grateful for at least being useful to Lelouch one last time."

"Good." And Suzaku adjusted his disguise once more. "I wanted both of us alone to pay our last respects to him, you know, before they cremated him. It used to be the custom to bury the royalty, but I doubt anyone will mind terribly."

"Did you arrange his affairs before he died?"

"He doesn't have any affairs to arrange," Suzaku replied indifferently. "He planned it by himself."

The man took one final look at his friend, shook his head slowly, and walked out. Kallen followed suit, but not before putting a tender hand to his lifeless cheeks.

"Goodbye, Zero," she whispered. Then she turned her back on Lelouch's body.

A young girl with pale brown hair stopped them shortly at the entrance of the cathedral. "Would you like to sign the memorial book?"

Suzaku paused, giving an excuse to the girl that he wasn't in a position to write anything, but Kallen took the feather and signed her Britannian name, Kallen Stadtfeld. Then they left.

On the corner of the street, Kallen embraced Suzaku for a second, then let go.

He humored her, then he realized that this might be the last time he would be hugged willingly. Then he noticed she was crying. For him.

"For God's sake, why are you crying?" he asked, knowing the answer yet wanting to hear it from her. "People on the street might think I've done something horrible to you."

"I've learned to forgive, you know, the day he died. I can't hate you or your idealogies anymore; it doesn't count for anything these days."

"I thought forgiveness was supposed to make your burden lighter," Suzaku said dryly. Yet he felt a warmth in his stomach that had nothing to do with the sunshine. _Someone_ didn't hate him regardless of what he did in the past. _Someone_ accepted his decision in the end.

"It does, Suzaku. You ought to forgive yourself and Lelouch. Lelouch didn't _mean_ for you to feel guilty when you're living and _he's_ not."

"You make it sound easier than it really is. Is this really the girl who hotly shouted at me for trying to work things out by gaining status in Britannia?"

"I've changed," she said, trying to smile through her tears. "I... loved Lelouch. I couldn't face the future without the prospect of him. But I have to. I can't stay Zero's right hand girl all the time. That should be the same for you too."

The taxi cab pulled up. Time for her to go.

"If you want to talk to me, I'll be at Ashford Academy."

The door was shut, waves were exchanged, and Suzaku found himself alone, with only an intense feeling of loneliness to occupy him as he saw the red haired girl drive away.

* * *

Kallen had found herself suddenly a soft, malleable woman shortly after the war. She had quite lost her appetite of fighting, and the qualities of compassion and kindness along with a passion to amend her sins came out strongly. Her cold shell, originally to protect herself, was now useless. She understood with a burst of clarity that much of the unhappiness had been concocted by unhappy, ambitious men.

Lelouch was one of them. He had never been satisfied, not even at death's door.

She had been determined after that not to waste the rest of her life on something intangible like the rebellion.

Then her stepmother called (from London) about her father's will, in a clipped voice-"Your father's dead. He left a substancial amount of money for you."

"How did he die?" she choked out, tears threatening to spill over, and in front of her mother who was sleeping peacefully too. Her mother could never know. She was determined to make her mother happy in this new, confused era.

"He was in Pendragon at the time of Schneizel's detonation of FLEIJA." Her stepmother's tone of voice was cold, indifferent. As if it was a statistic to her if her husband died or not. "They haven't recovered the body, but he had a mansion there."

"Your money is in a seperate bank account. The lawyer will mail you the will a few days from now."

Kallen hung up, and sat down on her bed, crying again, and feeling ashamed of herself that she had indirectly participated in the killing of a man who meant no harm to her. She remembered, briefly, from a far, cast-out life the big room she had as a child. He had taught her how to read and write in Britannian, how to dress like a Britannian, how to act like a Britannian. He tried to raise his daughter as a proper Britannian lady, until he had divorced her Japanese mother and left to do some business, effectively abandoning her and Naoto.

She'd never forgiven him after that, not ever. Her mother told her the story in little bits, when she wasn't on high off Refrain. Her Britannian grandparents had threatened to disown him after the war between Britannia and Japan, and the loss of his noble name meant more than the loss of his love for her mother. He instead married another woman who had no love for him at their insistence.

But... he was dead. And that made things different. Funny how she was able to forgive people easily because they were no longer alive. With that forgiveness, the burden of hating her father was gone. She had thought that she would always be against Britannia.

In the letter that the family lawyer sent her a few days later, she caught a faint whiff of cologne. In a moment of sudden Proustinian memory, she remembered with surprising acuteness watching her father sit at the fireplace and reading the newspaper after dinner. She would often climb up on his lap, and he would chuckle, place a tender kiss on her forehead, and take out the biggest chocolate out of the candy box. He would then cut the chocolate in half, and offer the bigger portion to her, his hand smelling exactly like the letter that she now held in her hand.

A few blinks brought her suddenly back to present day. She had forgotten almost everything before she joined Naoto's rebellion.

She walked slowly back to her room, and read the letter slowly. It was dated nearly four years ago. Back to the year that Naoto had died.

_My Dear Kallen,_

_I write this and I wonder how you will grow up to be. I know that in your heart, truly, you ought to have lost your taste for all things Britannian, and I can't say that I blame you. I heard about Naoto, and it kills me that I can't be at my son's funeral lest I be unable to support both you and your mother. Although it may be true that he was against Britannia, he was my son and I am proud of him._

_Since I already made the decision to be uninvolved in both of your lives, I want you to inherit my savings. Do whatever you want with it. Whatever you do, somehow, I know that you'll turn out to be braver than your parents. I know that you'll make the right decision when the time comes. You were my favorite child. You were the one who burned with fire in everything you did._

_Love,_

_Your father_

Kallen tucked the letter away in her drawer, wiping her eyes as she did so, wanting to tell her mother in the rehab center but not wishing to disturb her slow recovery.

"Did you hear that, Naoto? Father forgives us too. Maybe you met him in heaven when he died."

* * *

Gino got out of bed, tired. His mother, called him on his cell phone early in the morning. He let it ring three times until he groaned, finally picking it up.

"My_ star_!" she squealed. "I was worried about you until I heard that dashing Zero saved you!"

Vivi Weinberg was vivacious and charming, something that his strict father took a fancy to before he realized too late they were ill-matched. Out of the two parents, it was his father he had the most respect for, yet it was his mother who gave him his blue eyes and flirtatious mannerisms. His father had given him something he loved; the skill of piloting Knightmares. His mother, however, had given him charisma that people loved him for.

"Of course, Mama. I'm sorry I couldn't call you..."

She laughed airily, answering, "The fact that you are still well and alive suits me fine. I miss you, _mio figlio_."

"I miss you too." It was true. Being a Knight of Rounds meant you couldn't see your parents too often. He didn't talk about it much, being the Knight of Three, but it was hard sometimes.

"So, tell me! How is Japan? You haven't called me ever since that _diavolo_ Lelouch took over Britannia!"

He smiled, and told her tiny tidbits-his recent enrollment in Ashford Academy, the new upgrades on his beloved Tristan, the part about switching sides and pledging loyalty to the Black Knights...

"A pretty girl catch your sight?" Vivi interrupted. "In Pendragon, you told me how they all fell for your charming looks, all thanks to your mother, of course."

An image of Kallen flashed in his head. "Just one."

"Just one?" Vivi asked, clearly disappointed.

"Mama, she's the only _girl_ who defeated me in the air. Other than Anya."

The phone went silent for three whole seconds.

"... Vivi?" he asked cautiously.

"Ah, I see. Britannian, I suppose?"

"She's... Japanese."

A deep sigh went through the speakerphone. "You're not the same, Gino. You haven't laughed once since I called."

"Perhaps it's because it's seven thirty in the morning here in Japan," Gino suggested quietly. "Look, I'll see you around Christmas."

She agreed and he hung up, now wide awake. That was the way it was with his mother. Back when he was training when he was fifteen years old, she would look at him, and frown. He knew she was unhappy with her only child going away, her bundle of sunshine and love travelling to a world of hurt out there.

But he had to grow up being perfectly fine with killing people who were on the wrong side of Britannia.

Besides, it wasn't as if he wasn't as funny or beautiful or likable just because he said he liked Kouzaki Kallen, a person who was always against Britannia. No switching sides for her, no sirree. He thought she was amazing; too good to be true. Like a veritable goddess who yelled out her anger and passion for the liberation of Japan through the destruction of her deadly Guren Mk II. He shivered when he thought about her weapons at her disposal. He felt weak at his knees when he imagined her gasping and moaning into his ear.

The only bad thing about her, Gino thought regretfully, was the fact that she was enamoured with someone else. He recognized the powerful look of love in her eyes before, and he remembered looking at her entire body resisting against her chains as she shouted at whoever Zero was. She didn't want him to kill..._ Lelouch_, of all people. How could it be Lelouch?

At school, there was that fake little smile she passed to everybody. He knew what her real smile looked like; he'd seen it as he told her Zero was coming back.

She acknowleged him indifferently, a comrade who just happened to be at the same school who only knew the pointless details of the rebellion.

He wondered why he had decided to fall for a girl who wasn't going to be easy to seduce. Oh, he was a Knight, all right, but it wasn't as if it didn't have extra benefits. He'd slept with some pretty girls before, but Kallen wasn't _just_ pretty. She was fire, she was talented, she was one of a kind. And single, don't forget single.

Gino fingered the old Guren key in his pocket. He should probably give it back. But he didn't want to. He wanted to keep a tiny piece of her. Her Guren was probably lying at the bottom of the ocean floor. After she killed Suzaku, he'd caught her in midair, her mental and physical limits forcing her unconscious. His energy filter was running low, so he had to carefully laser the cockpit and deliver it to the base. Lakshata wasn't pleased that her creation was no more than a pile of scrap pile, but at least Kallen was safe.

Today, he thanked his lucky stars that she had accepted to be his partner when his history teacher asked them to quiz each other. It was usually some other nitwit girl who wanted some popularity points for hanging out with someone of Kallen's notoriety for being a terrorist and being Zero's supergirl.

She seemed distracted, however. He knew she was incredibly smart, managing to be the top of the class and catching up so soon despite being a full fledged right-hand member of the Black Knights. She tapped her fingernails, fidgeted around, and got on average three out of four questions wrong.

Finally, he put the papers down, and asked her what was wrong.

Her eyes flickered up to his, and he observed a blank, neutral look on her face. Almost like a doll.

"It's nothing, Gino." But still, that tapping, that fidgeting.

"You're thinking about something."

"Of course I'm thinking about something. Charlemagne... and stuff," she mumbled.

She didn't like his eyes. They were suspicious of her; incredibly perceptive. Although he was usually jovial and fun to be around, he could also get very serious sometimes.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, later at lunchroom.

She bit her lip, anxious. They were sitting on a bench together alone.

"It's... hard," she started out. "Wait, that's not what I wanted to say."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard, being here. I'm here, but my old friends, they're either dead or gone." She struggled to express herself, making chopping motions with her hands.

"Aren't I your friend?"

"Yeah, but..." she furrowed her brows. Then, a thought went through her. She could tell Gino.

"Can you keep a secret, then? You're my only friend here, you know."

"Yes. I promise."

She took a deep breath. "I found out who Zero was."

* * *

Author's Note: So okay, read and review!


	2. Chapter 2

Gino was not religious. He did not believe in ritual. But sometimes, in order to bear the strain of life, he needed an accompaniment of an inner music. He, unlike his mother, could not always compose such a music for himself. That music, he believed, was the word of the Christ, the God of all universes, the divine ruler of every world created by the touch of his divine hands.

He prayed for his sins and for the sins that Kallen might have committed, because he knew that she did not believe in an afterlife. She believed in the past, and he had taken pity on her.

"Did you know who he was before he was Zero?" he had asked her, quietly.

Zero, the mask of the ages! While people shout his name and praise his heroic deeds, who would remember the tragedy of the Massacre Princess? Who would remember the FLEIJA fired into the night sky as it destroyed the Tokyo Settlement? Who would remember the terrifying seconds as Lelouch smiled and took control of the entire royal family? Who would remember the real world, full of false ideologies and false hope? It was Zero, the madman who made the mass population forget these tragedies as they regained control of their lives.

"Yes. He's changed, for the worse."

"Is that why you were so distracted?"

"No, it's just not that..."

Kallen was speaking more intimately to Gino than he had ever heard her before. She was troubled. "My father died in the Pendragon explosion, right before we fought Lelouch. _I fought on the side of the man who killed my father._"

Her voice trembled, and she burst into noisy tears. "Why did he ever have to leave my mother? My brother wouldn't want to kill Britannians, and then he wouldn't die, and then my mother wouldn't have taken that first dose of Refrain. _I hate him_!"

So here was the reason why she had chosen to be Japanese. She fought because she sympathized with the oppressed, she fought because her father was a Britannian and caused so much sadness and strife in her family.

If she had been a different type of girl, he would have put out his hands and pulled her close. He would have kissed her lovely forehead and murmur quietly, "I'm so sorry."

But this was Kallen. He did none of those things, because that would have been disrespectful of her. She was stronger, far stronger than anyone he knew for a girl.

"He left me a will. It's around forty million pounds." She put her face in her hands. "It's a gift I never wanted in the first place. I wish I'd never_ been born _by the wrong family..."

"It's not your fault, it was Schneizel's fault for pushing that goddamned button on the FLEIJA," Gino tried reasoning with her, but it only made her more hysterical.

"And I fought for him!" Kallen wailed. "Of all the deaths that weighed on my conscience, I've never been more bothered by anyone except for my father..." _and Lelouch_, she wanted to add, but surely Gino would find it absurd to mourn for the death of a tyrant.

"Kallen, listen to me. Look at me in the eye!" growled Gino, in that fierce passionate way he had inherited from his mother. "You. Did. Not. Kill him. Understand?" He shook her hard, trying to make her snap out of it. Kallen being a crybaby was so unlike her, it scared him. He hated it when she cried.

"I didn't kill him," she repeated. "I didn't kill him."

"That's right," he said grimly, and made her sit down. "Now, I give you absolution."

"What?"

He was suddenly self-conscious about how Christian-like he had become. "It means forgiveness. Uh, the priest, once you confess your sins, he makes the sign of the Cross and gives you penance for your absolution."

"Oh." Kallen said. "I didn't know you were a Christian."

"I'm not a very good Christian," confessed Gino. "I'm just a sucker for that two-minute pure feeling you get after going to Confession. Like if I died, I'd still be okay and I'd go to heaven."

"I don't believe in an afterlife," she said. "It's too depressing, seeing people organized into Heaven or Hell. And anyways, there's no God from where I see."

Gino smiled a sad smile that made her believe it wasn't the first time he heard of it before. "You've never prayed before? Don't tell me you've never been in a life-or-death situation."

"Only to my family. And maybe some friends, but they're all gone now."

She took out a picture of the old student council. It was a group picture of people, some that Gino recognized and some that he didn't.

"Here. Three of them are dead," and she pointed to Shirley, a cheerful looking girl, and Lelouch, back when he wasn't Zero, and Suzaku, with a tentative smile, which gave Gino a painful knot in his stomach. He missed Suzaku, even though it was true he had gone long over to the dark side. "Those two graduated, of course"-Rival and Milly-"and Nina was the developer of FLEIJA, who Schneizel manipulated to destroy Pendragon." Gino spotted a small, frizzy-haired girl with braids and glasses peeked shyly over her laptop. "And of course, Princess Nunnally, back when she was in middle school."

Kallen tore a piece of bread and flung it towards the pidgeons that crowded their bench. "If I knew what was going to happen, I wouldn't have signed up for a single bit of it."

Her voice was full of grief and the despair of it all from mourning the absence of the people she missed. "Sometimes I can't even look at the clubhouse. I know I'll hear their voices, and I'll turn around, but they won't be there. It's pathetic. I can't even focus on the future or be happy about it."

She folded the picture carefully and placed it with purpose into her bag, and smiled wryly at her companion. "You're probably really bored from hearing my stories, aren't you? I'll leave now."

"No, Kallen, I swear I'm not."

"The bell's probably going to ring soon. I'll be going." She stood up and brushed the crumbs off her uniform. "See you, Gino."

"Kallen!" He called out her name like it was a lifeline.

"Yes?"

"Luke 6:21! Look it up," he said earnestly. "It's in the Bible."

She looked at him cautiously. "All right, I will. See you in class."

* * *

But she didn't immediately remember to look it up, because she had bombed the quiz over Charlemagne and her mother was being difficult about the whole rehabilitation thing.

"Kallen, please, just leave the canister there. I don't feel right without it."

Kallen remained impassive to her mother. "I'm not going to do that. You've stayed off Refrain two years, I'm not having you turning back into an addict on my watch."

"You don't understand how hard it was for me-"

"No, Mother."

"Please, Kallen, I'm your mother. Don't I mean anything to you?"

"Go to sleep, Mother."

"Kallen!" The woman cried out for the final time, but Kallen shut the door and locked it on the outside. Every night, the woman would insist on organizing the house the way she wanted, and Kallen would stay up late trying to convince her mother to go to sleep. It was troublesome to look after her mother, but Kallen knew that her father would have wanted her to take good care of his wife until she at least graduated from high school.

Kallen sighed out of relief, then pulled out her calculus homework. Being at the top of the class meant that she had to study quite a lot, especially in her final year, where they were already preparing for their exams for college admissions.

But five problems in, her mind started wondering about her future. She didn't have any ambitions to _do_ anything. After fighting in the name of democracy and liberation, working for a living sounded so lackluster compared to her old life. It was already hard enough to live like a regular person. People she didn't know would point her out and whisper to one another behind her back. Although she had developed a tolerance for all sorts of people, it irritated Kallen how they would judge her on unfounded rumors.

Maybe that was why she avoided people in general, except for a few comrades like Sayoko or Nunnally. The Princess had invited her for tea and cookies, and they made small conversation while Kallen admired Nunnally's eyes. They carefully avoided the subject of Lelouch, although it was weighing heavily on both of their minds.

Still, Kallen hadn't gotten over Lelouch. The image of Zero stabbing her love replayed again and again like an empty tune, a dream that she hated yet wanted to see again. It haunted her while she was asleep. His presence was everywhere. She missed him, even though it was true that he had killed many people for his definition of world peace. She missed his smile and his elegant fingers as they held his chess pieces, she missed his violet eyes that captured everybody's attention.

And above all, she missed his commands that he issued to her. She felt useless without someone using her. Although she knew that it ought to be liberating to be on her own and under no one's command, she felt hollow and empty inside. He was the best part of her, and now that he was dead and truly unapproachable, a hole had been torn open in her chest. It left her exposed and vulnerable.

_You did not love me_, Kallen thought, as she doodled a broken heart on her notebook paper. _I don't know if you loved anyone in the first place_.

Before Lelouch, Kallen did not think about about future romantic relationships. She refused anything that had to do with love, because it was a territory she wasn't comfortable with. She had thought with a level of certainty that she was going to live forever with her brother. Even while her breasts had blossomed and she grew tall and beautiful, she had vowed never to marry after witnessing what had happened in her parent's marriage.

But she had fallen in love with the demon. She glanced at the pictures she pinned up on her board inside her room. Lelouch, with a deceptive smile in the student council room! Lelouch, baking a cake with Milly! Lelouch, together with the old gang lighting up fireworks! Lelouch! Lelouch! Lelouch!

"This is pathetic," she mumbled. "Just because I thought about my dad I thought about Lelouch." And now she was talking to herself like a crazy woman.

She started thinking about the rest of the day, wondering how she had gotten so distracted about Zero being Suzaku. It had only been two weeks ago. Gino... did he suspect anything? Kallen bit her lip anxiously. It wouldn't be prudent to tell him, although he seemed so friendly and eager to talk to her. She sighed. It'd be so nice to discuss the old wartime memories to someone like him. She was sick of patriotism and loyalty for a while. The worldwide peace, it seemed to her, was so artificially conceived that she was unable to muster any joy for life among the civilians.

_"Luke 6:21! Look it up!"_

She decided to humor Gino for a while and went next door to borrow a Bible. It transpired that Melissa Salt, a local student studying at Ashford College, was a Catholic and easily handed it over to Kallen.

Kallen thumbed the tiny book, not knowing exactly what or how to look up a Luke 6:21. A few minutes later, she leafed through the contents and found an even tinier statement printed in straight columns.

_Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh._

She was surprised at how light the quote was. She expected a sermon of some sort, a hidden secret in a powerful holy book. It didn't mean anything special, it only guaranteed that if you cried, eventually sooner or later you'd have to laugh.

Kallen read it again, and this time she let herself give way to her impulses. She pulled on her sneakers, laced them up, opened the door and ran. She ran in every direction, avoiding the dark alleys and empty streets. She ran so fast that her lungs burned for more oxygen. I have to run faster, she said to herself, and she did. A few people stared at her, some people got out of her way rather quickly, and some people tried to catch her, but to no avail. She was a bolt of quicksilver as she ran away from a fear that she could not name.

She stopped, finally, when she collapsed out of sheer exhaustion.

And wouldn't you know it, she laid there quietly in front of the clubhouse. The powerful memories came rushing back. The fateful meeting of Lelouch as he asked her about the Shinjuku ghetto, nearly two and a half years ago. The quiet room that she had tea with Milly as they discussed her half-Japanese lineage. The champagne bottle that Rival opened and soaked her uniform.

She was dazed as she slowly pulled her together, hugging herself as it was a little chilly in the night. She could see a few lights in the dorms and hear a couple of girls chattering in the night sky under the moonlit stars. They had already filled in the crater and built new buildings. The FLEIJA explosion was becoming nothing more than a tragic memory.

Kallen walked to the clubhouse, hesitating slightly as she put one hand on the door. Locked. Of course it would be locked at this time of night.

But she didn't mind; Naoto taught her well as a kid. She took out her ID and jiggled the lock through the crack of the door, and it opened in a few minutes. Kallen had her fair share of breaking in a few buildings once or twice. Breaking the law wasn't something she cared very much for, but what were they going to do to her now? She wasn't scared of anything, not even in the face of apparent death. Lelouch wasn't.

The huge door swung quietly, the hinges didn't squeak. Kallen stepped inside, and the coolness of such a big ballroom made her feel better from her exertion. She wondered briefly if there were any water fountains nearby. Her footsteps tapped on the marble floor and immediately she was taken with the beauty of the space of it all, bathed in the moonlight streaming through the glass windows.

_History was made here_, she thought with a rush of fierce joy. _We've been a part of something greater, of something beyond our reach that we could not do alone._

_I have lived, loved and lost people in this room. It's over. That period of my life, that particular chapter has ended. But I** want **it back. I want my crazy, hectic, violent, and passionate life back. I used to be strong and powerful and cool on the outside. I used to be the strongest warrior on the battlefield, flying so fast you could barely see me in my Guren. I could look at the boy I loved and smile at him because I thought he was doing the right thing. I had bunches of friends I could talk to when I was feeling lonely. I never had to wish for anything except to be back on the battlefield when I was captured by the other side._

_But I mostly wish that I could have died early in the game so I wouldn't know what would've happened in the very end._

She sat in Lelouch's seat gingerly, and started crying quietly. She felt sadness, anguish, and jealousy for the ghost of the previous girl she used to be, so shining and confident. The crying eventually grew into loud, hysterical sobs that she was unable to stop. When was the last time she had cried this hard?

A light flickered on. She forced a hand over her mouth, quickly ducking under the table. Suppose she got caught? She didn't want to be caught by a stranger crying over something important like this.

"Hello? Is someone here?" A masculine voice entered the hallway. She recognized it vaguely. Like she had heard it recently, but her life had been bombarded with so much shit that she forgot almost everything in the present day.

Kallen instinctively curled into a ball, breath coming in short and fast because she was trying to keep quiet.

"C'mon, get out." The person, whoever it was, was heading towards her. "I know you're in here. Ashford doesn't tolerate thieves, you know."

She prayed for him to avoid her. She wasn't a thief. She was a genuine student, the best they ever had with the exception of Lelouch!

The person sighed, and said with an amused tone, "Okay, if that's how you want to play it. I'm a pretty rough guy. You don't want to mess with me." He left the room. Kallen relaxed. Maybe he was gone. She crawled out under the table and was greeted by a very physical weight on her chest.

"Gotcha, you little thief, you." Then the elbow shifted to her neck. "Wait, you're a girl, aren't you?"

"Gino, it's me." Kallen said tiredly. "Please get off me." How could she forget the sound of his voice? She only dimly registered the smell of his cologne, a grassy sort of scent mixed with a few other things that she was too tired to identify. It was sensual and friendly and seductive. She had never noticed about what a guy would put on in public eye.

He got off her with a yelp. "Kallen? I thought you didn't live in the dorms."

"I was just revisiting a few..." Her voice cracked from holding in her sadness. "I looked it up. Your quote."

The door was half open, spilling light into the clubhouse, and Gino stood in the light while Kallen stood in the darkness. She could not read his expression, her eyes half blurred from the tears threatening to spill in front of him.

"Oh, Kallen..."

She sobbed, and fell mercifully in the arms of her God. He was warm, and she was heartbroken.

"War," he said, stroking her hair in the dark. "Glorious war. It makes orphans of us all."

* * *

Gino was struck how small Kallen was. Out in the battlefield, she had seemed so strong and impenetrable. Now, she had turned into a girl who was pushed beyond her emotional boundaries, something human and fragile. He swallowed, and tried not to cry himself as he held Kallen like one does to comfort a child. Now would be an occasion when his masculine primal instinct took over, and he felt the urge to find Lelouch (wherever he was now) and beat the shit out of him until Kallen stopped crying.

But he couldn't do that, so he had to settle for wishing that whatever had happened she would eventually forget. Maybe he could have met her instead as a proper Britannian, instead of settling for something broken. Something full of sadness he couldn't do anything about it.

This was more than just her father, he realized. It was her friends, her own self-being, the awakening from the horror and the bloodshed from the things she had done. They stood there in the darkness for a long time, until she got tired of crying.

"Put your arms on my shoulders," he said. She complied, and he lifted her body up and carried her to a nearby room. He settled her into a reclining chair, her body easily conforming to the S-shape, and he couldn't help but admire her. Kallen was only wearing a cotton dress, but she had the best figure he'd ever seen on a girl.

Kallen blinked, a miracle considering her eyeballs had lost so much fluid. "Where are we?"

"The apartment behind the student council room. The Ashfords let me rent it for the semester."

She sat up abruptly. "I've got to go home."

"Relax. I'm not going to do anything to you." Gino said, and got her a glass of orange juice. "You're in no condition to walk home. Especially now."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because, in the words of Jeremiah Gottwald, it's part of the code of chivalry to take care of a damsel in distress." He put the cool glass against her lips, and grudgingly she began to drink. Getting fluids in her body were important if she intended to go to school tomorrow.

"I'm not a damsel in distress."

"True," he agreed. "You're not. But you qualify for one right now."

"Why do you like me so much?"

The question was like a punch to the stomach. He fumbled for an answer, but her eyes! Bright gems of light, even though they were strangely clouded. They were two extremely perceptive people who understood each other. Maybe they didn't know everything, but they had so much in common and identified with each other.

"I don't know," he said simply. "There's a lot of reasons, I guess."

Kallen's eyes fluttered, and then closed. "Okay," she said. "Okay, I'll trust you."

She drifted off to sleep a few minutes later. Gino brought a blanket to her and tucked it under her chin, just like Vivi did when he was a little kid himself.

"Sweet dreams, Kallen," he said quietly, and turned off the light.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I think Gino, being a Knight of Rounds and being no one's servant except for the Emperor's, has gone through many of the same things that Kallen has gone through. He empathizes with her. He's definitely attracted to her in a superficial way (I'm pretty sure the bunny suit sums this up) but also I can see why he's not too fond about serving Britannia.

The Christianity motif was fascinating for me to incorporate. Even though CG is an AU, I still think that Britannia would adopt the religion. Gino is born under the nobility, as stated by Bradley, but I applied artistic license when it came to his parents. He doesn't need to work for a living, but he does it anyway.

Oh, and if you catch any mistakes, my bad. I'm too lazy to edit. :P


	3. Chapter 3

A multi-prismal world the color of a bubble met her eyes, as Kallen dreamed in her sleep. Sleeping was eight glorious hours of forgetting. Sleeping was an escape until her body decided to wake up for her daily trek in Hell.

But Kallen's body was no longer in Gino's apartment complex where it smelled like musky lavender or freshly mown grass coming from the windows. She was in a white, plastic chair, and her entire body ached as if she had spent the entire day blasting enemies out of the air. She messaged her shoulders with her hand as she made her way in the world of all colors.

It must be a dream, Kallen thought to herself. Surely it wasn't possible for picture frames to hold pictures that had moving people in it, or a few of them to have bizarre situations of CC dying in some way. She saw CC burned at stake, saw her tortured in an iron maiden, saw CC's perfect body crumpled from deep sea pressure. Then there were a few moments where CC was a little girl, hugging a nun. Kallen was astonished. She had envisioned CC being a witch, but certainly not as a very old person in a young body.

She wondered if CC was missing Lelouch, and the thought gave her a pang of jealousy. Of course, they must have been lovers... otherwise, Kallen felt inadequate as a silly girl when it came to his rejection after she had kissed him.

"Kouzaki Kallen, how glad am I to see you."

She whipped her head around and saw Lelouch walking towards her, his body glorious to her eyes. _This is a wonderful dream_, she thought. _I don't want to wake up_.

"Lelouch? Is that you?"

"Yeah. It's me."

"Where am I? And how... I thought it wasn't possible for the living to communicate to the dead."

"You are in CC's world. This is her consciousness, a world that's beyond the reach of mortals. She let me visit exactly two people on Earth, but on one condition."

"Me? I was one of the two people?" Kallen asked him, horrified. What if Lelouch had wasted his opportunity on seeing someone else? Yet she was also pleased inside that she had been able to see Lelouch for one last time.

"You and Suzaku were honestly the only people I cared to see again." Lelouch said smoothly, as if he had expected her to say that. "Even though you didn't understand my plans until the very end."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be; thanks to you the world is at a peace. The Zero Requiem has been successful." He smiled and flexed his fingers like a webbed spider. "And I loved your kiss. Very memorable way to say goodbye."

She blushed. "Don't joke about that. I was being serious... I wanted you to know my feelings." She looked at him in the eye. "I'll get over you one way or another."

He tilted his head, and gave a bemused sort of smile. "CC often said I could have any girl if I wanted. But I'd pick you, if I weren't like this." He gestured sadly towards his body, which seemed to be composed of an ethereal substance. "You're a beautiful person, inside and out, which is more than I can say for some people."

"Oh, go stuff yourself." Kallen replied crossly. "Shirley hasn't killed anybody, and she never betrayed you. That's more than I can say for myself, Mr. Smart Ass."

It was odd. Back in the day she had trembled in his presence, barely saying anything worth of value when he took off his mask and revealed the delicate beauty of Lelouch Lamperouge. It was as if he held a power to force her into submission, until he had asked her to comfort him as women can.

But now she could move on. She could think about moving on because she knew that Lelouch, as a person, was natural-born liar. Even if he had reciprocated her feelings and still lived on Earth, it would have been a very unhappy relationship. She wasn't a person who could deal with that. It was probably why she had stayed away from people at school. Although a few girls made nice conversation with her now and then, she could easily tell that they didn't want her as a friend.

"I can see you're on the road to a reality check," Lelouch remarked, a sly smile marking his countenance. "I like that, Kallen. I was never a realist."

"Dammit, Lelouch, you're not making it easy for me." How could you not resist his effortless grin, his elegant prose, his arrogant tone of voice? The fact that he was capable of being so only made her heart beat faster and her groin warmer. She clenched her fist, trying not to show how much he affected her.

"I can't say that I'm sorry. I enjoy it when people remember me on Earth, you know." He said, unapologetic. "CC once told me that her life was meaningless because all she did was exist. I suppose I'm the complete opposite."

Lelouch put his elongated finger to an invisible wallscreen. A photo frame of Suzaku piloting a Sutherland popped up. Kallen then knew who was going to be Person Number Two. Her heart fluttered for a second, than sank madly. She was saddened at what Lelouch made Suzaku do, but understood finally that it was for the best. Suzaku, from the start, had always wanted to be a martyr, and he had gotten his wish.

"I won't be visiting Suzaku anytime soon," he said softly. "I only get one chance. Then it's over."

And Kallen felt a pang at what Suzaku and Lelouch had to go through. Lelouch suddenly looked at Kallen, twisting his neck for a better view of her. His eyes widened, as if he was remembering something.

"I have to tell you something, Kallen."

"What is it?" she called to him, and then stared in shock as her hand dissolved into air.

Kallen noticed that it was nearly time to go. Her body in the dreamland was slowly evaporating, though she did not panic at the thought of her body in two different places. She would end up back on Earth, in Gino's apartment, a place she belonged to. Not this freakish world of past memories, although it would have been nice to spend an eternity with Lelouch.

"I love you, Kallen."

She did not know she was crying, until she felt her cheeks grow wet. These were the words she had always imagined as she fantasized about Lelouch and her, but now that she heard them with such warmth and tenderness, it floored her. She didn't even know that Lelouch had been able to say it the way she saw him now. She understood now that their relationship had never been one of romantic love, but a kind where the both knew each other so well that it was impossible to stay forever unfaithful to the other. It was perhaps the same relationship that defined Suzaku and Lelouch's.

"I love you too, Lelouch."

Now her chest was shimmering into different flecks of light, and she could feel the vinyl of the recliner under her fingers. Kallen could feel herself teleporting into pieces back to the mortal world, and she wished they had more time. Time to say goodbye.

Lelouch only smiled, and said, "Goodbye, Kallen."

"Lelouch!" She grasped his hand for one last touch, but suddenly she was sucked into a vortex, and CC's world was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Kallen sat upright in her recliner, breathing coming in quick, shallow bursts and rivers of sweat running down her skin. Her eyes snapped open, and her heart was throbbing from the shot of adrenaline that always followed from dreams that involved Lelouch. If she smoked, she would have already lit a cigarette.

She tried to calm down, but her body resisted. She wanted to hear Lelouch's voice again; she wanted to touch him and embrace him again.

Then she remembered what Lelouch would have wanted, and instantly she felt small and lonely. He had said he loved her.

_Why do men have to say that when they know they're never going to see us again_? Kallen thought forlornly. Soon, her night vision was restored and she wished she could at least wash her face. Although the air conditioning was on full blast, she still felt uncomfortably warm.

She closed her eyes, deciding not to get up, and fell asleep after a few minutes of hazy thoughts, all vague and uncollected. She had a fever.

* * *

Gino had not expected to meet Kallen's mother in this way. She was sharp and suspicious, resembling a small bird, but underneath her worried eyes, Gino could tell that she possessed warmth and great compassion. She seemed to dislike Gino at first sight, although it wouldn't have been surprising.

Her previous Britannian husband, after all, had betrayed her family.

"She collapsed at school? Why?" She questioned Gino with an authority that was unnerving to him. Gino wondered if she had known about Kallen's father, but decided not to mention anything.

"Stress," he explained. "I believe it was from all the studying she did. She's one of the top students in our year."

Pride shone in Kouzaki Kyoko's eyes as she listened to Gino. "Ah, of course... she always stays up so late. I appreciate the fact that you helped her to the infirmary today."

Gino had a sort of radar when it came to protective mothers and their daughters. He did not try to charm them, it would only serve to make them suspicious. The only thing he did was lie to her mother, because the truth would have shocked her. Parents never know what all their kids do. Not in the old days, not now, not tomorrow. It's a law.

"It was no problem." After hauling a feverish Kallen who was mumbling words he couldn't understand, the nurse had called up Kallen's mother, and she had rushed in.

"Na... " Kallen started to say, and instantly both of them held their breath. "Na... oto..."

"Oh, dear," Kyoko said, and she tried to blink back tears. "Kallen, honey, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

Gino quickly left the scene, unobtrusive as the wind coming from the window. What would he give for his name to be on Kallen's lips instead of somebody else?

* * *

"Mother?" Kallen asked into the void, her eye vision gradually becoming clearer as the sunshine grew brighter. She remembered seeing blurred images of people she'd known. She was half-certain that Ohgi and Villetta had come to visit her, but she had been so tired she had barely the stamina to talk, or heck, even _think_ clearly. As her body was disconnected from reality, it had taken the opportunity to replay memories from her life in vivid Technicolor glory and surround sound. She could not protest or force herself to think about something else, as was her habit when she was confronted with something difficult. It only came at her like a beast, and all she could do was observe.

She shook her head experimentally, blinking a few more times to clear the sunlight from her eyes.

"Kallen. You're awake." Her mother's face loomed over her, and she squinted to make out Kyoko's dark eyes.

"How-how long have I been here?"

"A week," she replied complacently. "You must have been really tired, Kallen. I'm so sorry if I was responsible for it, dear."

She could not remember the last time she had felt her mother's soft hand on her cheek.

"You weren't, Okaa-san. It was something else... something big."

Her mother continued stroking her cheek. "Was it the Black Knights, Kallen-chan?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, Kallen, whatever you do, I know you'll do it well."

She was reminded of her father's letter. _Whatever you do, somehow, I know that you'll turn out to be braver than your parents._

_My mother and father loved each other_, she thought. Somehow, this was more comforting to accept than asking questions. _It's not my job to decide how my parents feel about each other._

"There's been a _boy_ who's visited you every day while you were in here," her mother whispered to her, as if she were sharing conspiracy theories and not about a friend who took time out of his day to visit at a sad wreck of a girl.

"Gino?"

"Yes, that's his name! Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, Okaa-san. He's not," she said. _I don't deserve anyone's love_, she thought sadly. _Why should a wonderful person like Gino fall in love with me? It's like Beauty and the Beast all over again, only except that I'm the beast and he is the forgiving one, despite my protests._

"I thought he was terribly charming for bringing you here to the hospital wing."

"He'd do that for anyone who had a 39 degree Celsius fever," she mumbled into her pillow. "It's nothing special."

Her mother had an odd expression on her face. "You know, he reminds me of your father when I was young."

Oh God. No. This was not something she wanted to know, especially when she was on the verge of throwing up. Then she remembered that there was an IV tube stuck in her arm and realized there was nothing in her stomach to regurgitate.

"Mother,_ please_. I'm tired."

"All right, Kallen. I'll take that as my cue to leave." She got up, clutching her purse with one hand. "But I ought to tell you, sometimes it's better being liked than being right."

* * *

Gino replaced the dying flowers on her nightstand with a fresh bunch of lavender. Kallen was watching him with hawklike eyes, frowning as he did so. Now that she had regained her consciousness (but still recovering), he brought her homework from class and sometimes even stayed behind to explain certain concepts to her.

"What?" he asked her.

"I don't get it," she said bluntly.

"What don't you get?"

"You."

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you doing this for me?"

Now he was the one who was frowning. "You already know the answer, Kallen. If my intentions aren't clear enough, than I'm not sure how I can make it so you can understand."

"Then I refuse."

"Why? So you can go back to Lelouch?"

Kallen visibly flinched at the mention of the dead Emperor's name.

"So you're the only one who noticed," she said, eyes studying her fingers as if they were the most fascinating things in the world. "Even Ohgi didn't notice anything different about me after... after his _murder_." She took a deep breath, and leaned against her pillow. "I was the only one who pretended to be god damned happy. It's not like I can stop myself from feeling the pain for someone who had to die."

A tear ran down her cheek. "For that, I hate myself."

She burst into tears, and instantly he was at her side, holding her as she sobbed against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, all I seem to do is cry," she said, but she was not ashamed to cry in front of this man. Crying was not weakness in front of Gino; on the contrary, she felt better after releasing her sadness. Every time she cried, the next time she felt better.

He stroked her bright hair affectionately. "You know, you're a lot more cute when you cry."

"I feel like crap," Kallen corrected him flatly, but she was smiling inwardly at the compliment. A lot of guys who hit on her would say she was pretty. Never cute. Cute was for someone like Milly or Nunnally or maybe somebody else. Cute meant something different.

Gino gently wiped her tears away. "Hey, your body is telling you to take it easy." He pushed her back into bed, although he was careful to only touch her shoulders, nothing else below that point.

"What are you, my doctor?" she grumbled, but did what he wanted anyway. If he was a magician, then she was helpless to resist him. She realized that he had pinned her down, yet strangely she did not feel the urge to get away.

He smiled, but it was mixed with a little sadness and a little pain. It was not something that you would usually see on Gino Weinberg's face.

"It goes away, you know. The pain of losing your first love."

Kallen opened her mouth to ask what kind of person would give him that sort of expression, but before she could do that he had stood up.

"Get well soon, Kallen-chan."

He winked at her and left, the only trace of him the smell of his cologne. Kallen could still feel the warmth on her shoulders long after he had left.

_Dammit_, she thought, balling her fists. _I think he knows more about me than I do about him._

* * *

**Author's Note: Lelouch vi Britannia commands you to review this story!**

**Seriously. Six story alerts but not one review last chapter? D:**

(what I wouldn't give to be Kallen. argh. )


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I seem to have a bad habit of writing exactly what I mean.**

**Oh wells. Hope you enjoy. :D**

* * *

Anya plucked off an orange and slowly peeled it as she sat on the cartwagon that pulled most of the produce from the orchard.

After dissolving the Knight of Rounds, she had been incredibly lucky to be adopted. At the age of sixteen, she couldn't find a stable job even though her previous status left her a hefty salary. The bad thing was, she could access any of the money until she turned 18, the legal age in Britannia.

So it was a surprise when Jeremiah Gottwald, the man who restored her memories, offered her a place to live. It wasn't perfect by any means, but her _real_ parents were literally nonexistent and anyways it was nice to have a few years of quiet after wartime. She had plenty to eat and a place to sleep; that was already good enough for her. The orchard was located on the west coast of Britannia on the North Continent, and the weather was mild and refreshing.

The work was strenuous, though, and it was good for keeping off certain subjects off her mind. When she rolled over to sleep, she went out like a light in a few minutes. That was something she had never experienced during the war; complete freedom from insomnia. Her dreams were nonexistent, and she was grateful for it.

Her _modus operandi_ generally went like this:

1. Waking up at four in the morning by Orange-kun's voice. Sayoko would prepare a small breakfast, usually composed of a cup of coffee and a Danish.

2. Watering the trees, which now was easy thanks to Sayoko's suggestion of an irrigation system. It had taken a few months to really get the system flawless, but a few levers did the job for them before the sun came out and dried the dew out.

3. Shuffle over to the greenhouse and inspect the grafting while snipping out unwanted buds on the experimental breeds. Before moving here, Anya had little to no experience when it came to gardening. She eventually opened up a new blog about gardening to the amusement of Gino, documenting her growth in tending plants. It now had over a couple thousand visitors who were interested in what a former Knight of Rounds would be doing on an orange orchard.

4. Pick the oranges. This was probably the hardest labor in the day as the sun was hot, possibly even hotter than the radiation of her Hadron cannon. After stopping in a small convenience store nearly fifteen miles away from the farm she asked Jeremiah for a lot of sunscreen and a sunhat. He looked amused (but then again, half his body was made of metal and didn't feel any pain).

5. Have lunch, usually finishing with a big glass of orange juice. If she had been in the city, she would have already been sick of the stuff, but in the country it made everything taste ten times better.

6. Pick some more oranges and load them into wooden crates. Anya liked sorting them into categories: which were fit for making into juice, which were best consumed fresh, which could be sent to restaurants in the city. The orchard was small, which meant they only needed a small profit to run the farm, but already they were getting a reputation for growing the best organic produce around the area. Plus, the publicity gained from their notoriety for serving under Japan's government didn't hurt either.

7. Drive in the wagon to the trucks and load the crates. California had a tourist area and it was possible to sell one or two crates of oranges in a few hours, depending on the popularity of the farmer's market. The summer was a season of great abundance.

8. Have dinner with Jeremiah and Sayoko (her parents, she liked to think), again finishing with a glass of orange juice. If Anya had any time left she would start on a new blogging entry, but today she was so tired that all she did was take a shower, change into clean pajamas, and then go to bed after reading a little bit. Sayoko had bought her some books over Japanese culture and they were interesting. Then she would go to sleep until the next day started again.

It was a happy, hopefully never ending cycle of work and leisure, and it gave her time to recover from her horrid past. She would have been content if a certain blonde hadn't suddenly decided to come visiting in his three-ton Knightmare, Tristan.

He landed on their front lawn (thankfully it didn't crush any of the trees) with a gusto and magnificence that could only be Gino Weinberg as he stepped out dashingly to greet Anya.

Jeremiah looked a bit mystified and Sayoko puzzled at the sight of the tall Britannian walk towards them.

He kissed Anya two times (both cheeks) which made her blush (so out of character), and then declared, "Everybody is invited to a wedding!"

"A wedding?" Anya asked, then proceeded to snap a quick picture of Tristan. It'd been at least three months since she'd seen a KMF. Around here, there was no need for mechas.

"Yes, Kaname Ohgi and Viletta Nu are getting married, you know. They were lovers during the war, or so I heard." He pulled out three beautifully decorated wedding invitations, which all included a photo of former comrades of enemies at the engagement parties.

"Oh, my," murmured Sayoko. "An express mail delivery."

"Nah," Gino said. "I just wanted to see Anya. You look great."

Anya smiled at the compliment. Before, she would have shrugged, but it felt so good to listen to a friend's voice.

"Woah, you've gotten tan! And taller!" He poked her in the side, which made her cry out in surprise. Gino was Gino. He hadn't changed much.

"Yeah," she said shyly. "I love this place, Gino. It's so nice... and quiet."

"Suits you to a tee." He shook both her parents' hands, both exchanging knowing glances towards Anya that she didn't like very much.

"Why don't we go inside for a quick spell?" Sayoko suggested. "It's hot out here."

The cabin was simple in decoration. There were only two rooms beyond the kitchen; one for Jeremiah and Sayoko and another for Anya. A pitcher of cold, freshly squeezed orange juice was on the table, and Anya poured a nice glass for Gino.

"Nice," said Gino as he looked around. "You don't see this around Ashford Academy."

"It's nice here," she agreed. "All I have to do here is work hard, and I don't have to worry about anything."

"How is Nunnally-sama?" asked Sayoko.

He shrugged. "I haven't contacted her much. I saw her departing for Britannia, so she might be around here." He looked at Anya for a second, which made her heart beat fast. "She's also looking for a knight. Anya, you could qualify."

She shook her head. "I'm over with the whole Knightmare thing. I've_ been _over with it since he," she looked at Jeremiah, "gave my memories back."

Who could forget a strange man leaping out of his Siegfried and pointing a metal sword at her neck? She had been so sure that he was out there to defeat her, since he was so loyal to Emperor Lelouch. No matter. After being released from prison, she had chosen to follow Jeremiah because of the priceless gift he had bestowed her: her memory of nine years ago. Since Lelouch had granted them some rest and peace after their support, both of them had chose to live here. Although Jeremiah and Sayoko were not exactly lovers, they had been the best parents for Anya.

His grin faded. "Oh. Loyal, huh? I'm glad you've got them back, then."

"Sorry, Gino," she said, and squeezed his hand. "I want to live with my family. All of us will come to the wedding, but I want to retire from being a Knight."

He smiled sheepishly and scratched his neck. "Well, that's a bit of a surprise. What happened to the 'Recorded, thank you' Anya that I used to know? You've changed so much."

She bit her lip anxiously. "I guess I've learned to be more of myself. Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Are you kidding? That's awesome! I like that you're into different stuff."

Anya snapped a picture of his goofy grin with her camera. "Recorded, thank you."

"Hey!"

Gino never remembered Anya smiling so much as she did, sitting in front of him. But she was. And he was happy for her.

"Did you know I've been promoted?" Gino asked her. "Knight of One. Apparently Suzaku wanted Lelouch to do that for me, but I haven't any clue why."

"Congratulations, Mr. Weinberg," Jeremiah said heartily. "Kururugi Suzaku recognized your friendship, and therefore promoted you to the highest honor."

Gino looked slightly uncomfortable. "Well, I suppose he spared me my life after Lelouch commanded him to destroy the other Knights with his Lancelot Albion. Actually, that was part of the reason why I came here... Technically, Suzaku betrayed the Knight of Rounds. Why?"

Jeremiah's eyes darkened, and immediately Gino wished he hadn't asked the question. The cyborg was half metal, and his mask looked quite intimidating, as if he was the Phantom from the Broadway musical.

"That isn't a question for a Britannian noble of your status to ask," he snarled, but Sayoko put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Anya stood in front of Gino protectively. "Dad, _please_. He didn't mean to get you mad."

"Sorry," Jeremiah apologized. "But you have to understand that it's a top secret. Not even members of the Black Knight will understand what went behind the scenes. And that's that."

"Even Anya doesn't know," Sayoko added. "Only a group of select people who worked directly under Lelouch will know why Suzaku betrayed the Knights. Please, Mr. Weinberg, I beg of you to not ask questions. It's much better to forget what happened rather than to dig around for the truth."

"I'm sorry for asking questions," Gino said regretfully. It seemed that he would have to live with the fact that Suzaku was going to be hated for the rest of his life, no matter how he had chosen to live his final days. Kallen wouldn't know what happened to him; she was the one who had decimated his Lancelot. Nobody he knew would be able to tell him truthfully and willingly.

Jeremiah accepted his apology with a wave, and then Sayoko asked out of politeness, "Is your family proud of you being the Knight of One?"

Now it was Gino's eyes who darkened. "My family has already disowned me from a long time ago, but thank you for asking."

Anya, after years working with Gino, knew that he was a person who had a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. He would be honest for a while, but he would much rather prefer to ask other people questions. It was a reason why she never liked shared secrets with him, even though she counted him as one of her best friends.

"Thanks for the orange juice, but I have to go now." He checked his watch, and chuckled. "So, Anya, hopefully I'll be seeing you in a month."

She nodded, and pressed three oranges into his palm. "Take these. I grew them."

"I couldn't possibly-"

"Take them," Jeremiah said. "Anya owns exactly _one_ orange tree, and she's forbidden us to sell any of her produce. It's a gift."

Gino looked at Anya, who reminded him of a Russian match girl he once saw on the streets, their eyes so solemn and deep. "Thank you."

Then Anya smiled, dispelling any notion that she had been sad the second before. Now she looked more like a regular fifteen year old and less like a well-trained military combatant.

"Good luck, Gino."

He climbed into the cockpit of the Tristan and saluted her through his Knightmare. Anya waved until Tristan was no more than a speck in the sky, then went back into the house.

* * *

Kallen woke up to streaming light. Judging from the windows, it was around noon. The nurse had left a tray of food on the table next to her bed.

"Good morning, Princess!" Gino greeted her affectionately. It was a little over a week and a half, but already Kallen thought that if it weren't for him she'd be sick of the hospital wing. The doctor had said that her stress was killing her body and that it would take some time for her body to get back to equilibrium.

Still, instead of groaning like she might have before Lelouch had visited her in her dreams, she smiled.

"Hey, Gino." She rubbed her eyes, and did her best to sit up. "You look happy."

"I just flew over the Pacific Ocean with Tristan to visit a friend," he said enthusiastically. "It's been almost_ forever _since I had a good reason to use my Knightmare."

"That's nice," she said wistfully. "I wish I could do that with my Guren too."

She missed operating Knightmare Frames almost as much as she missed Lelouch. She craved the feel of the control stick in her hands, the power that lay before her hands in the Guren SEITEN, and the feeling of invulnerability when she decimated enemies. The fact that she was able to die while inside the cockpit only made it more alluring. Her skill was not in her trained ability ever since she turned fourteen, but because she was passionate in her beliefs.

But the best thing was flying. It wasn't everyday she got to fly. The sky connected everybody under it.

He peeled an orange and placed the slices on a clean hankerchief.

"Here."

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Just one piece, then. Isn't Vitamin C supposed to help you snap out of it?"

She obliged him and found out to her delight that it was delicious. It was sweet and juicy, but there was something different about it.

"Wow, these are great. Where'd you get them?"

"Orange grows an orange farm. It's funny how everything works out," Gino said. "I was visiting Anya."

Suddenly the orange in her mouth turned sour. She swallowed it and poured herself a glass of iced water. "That's nice."

"Yeah, isn't she? She's gotten taller and tanner. Maybe she's even going into puberty!" He chuckled at the thought of Anya being more womanly. "I can't wait to see her at Ohgi's wedding."

"Do you like her?" Kallen said, then instantly regretted it. What, was she jealous? No way.

"Oh, definitely," Gino said, seemingly oblivious to her discomfort. "When I was inducted into the Knight of Rounds, I couldn't _believe_ how many old people were there. Then Anya showed up, and then Suzaku did. I was so happy to find people who were around my age."

"Mm." Kallen couldn't honestly say anything else to this effect as she was a lot more interested in finding out the real relationship between Anya and Gino, similar to her pangs of jealousy when she saw Lelouch together with CC. That damned witch, she liked to think. She had disappeared along with Lelouch.

Unfortunately for Kallen, Gino was not as stupid as she wished he could be and he tickled her under the bed sheets. "Why do you care, anyways? Have you fallen for my charms?"

This sent her into a tizzy. "Wh-what? Of course not, baka!" And she playfully hit him with her pillow.

"You two are so cute together!" squealed a girl from nearby. "Gino, I was looking for you."

Kallen squinted to see who this unfamilar person was. Wait... she had seen her before.

"Secretary-san!" She said, finally recognizing her. Ever since she had been back in Ashford, Milly had made sure that Kallen still had her position on the student council, even though Kallen hadn't attended a single meeting except for the ones outside the clubhouse.

"Yo, Kallen! Hope you're recovering okay, but I like to think Gino isn't doing much for you getting enough sleep." Caroline Smith, a sophomore in Ashford Academy, walked up to her hospital bed with a smile plastered on her face. "Get well soon."

"Thank you. How is the student council?"

"We-_ell_, senpai, Rival wanted us to throw a big culture festival like last year, but I have noooo idea how to pull that off! Especially when it's supposedly a free for all event to the public!"

Caroline reminded Kallen of Shirley Fenette. She was the fussy one in the group who was always cheerful despite her circumstances, even in the face of her father's death. Kallen felt a pinch of sadness as she remembered Suzaku coming up to tell that she had committed suicide. Of course, Kallen knew better, but she couldn't imagine Lelouch killing a young, innocent girl like Shirley. It was only a casualty of Zero's doing, the sole reason why Kallen could accept Shirley's murder.

Caroline sighed. "It's just a lot of work, and without the President, I don't know if it's even possible."

"Don't worry, Caroline, I'll try my best to get well so I can go help you," Kallen promised her.

"Kaichou! We have some stuff to do; you can't keep ogling Kallen while the rest of us are working!" The girl pulled Gino's ear and dragged him to the exit, and Kallen laughed at the sight of the Knight of One.

"Wait, I haven't given her a goodbye kiss!" Gino pleaded to the girl who was at least a good foot shorter than he was.

"Do that and I'll punch you to oblivion," Kallen said with a pleasant smile, and waved farewell to the lively company.

* * *

In a weird way, Kallen didn't find it necessary to live in the past anymore. Before Gino's intervention that answered her subconscious pleas for help, all she had done was eat, sleep, and study. Nothing more, nothing less. It was mechanical and forced, but it let Kallen dwell on past memories clamoring for her attention. Sometimes she would daydream in the middle of class, and it was a short fantasy about Lelouch that could never happen in real life. It was sad and pathetic, but Kallen hadn't been able to look to the future.

Now she started visiting Ohgi, bringing him green tea and adzuki buns from the local convenience store. Villetta, it turned out, was a remarkable cook and she liked Kallen enough to have hour-long conversations over the dinner table. Tamaki and Sugiyama often stopped by the apartment to swap stories and exchange advice on wedding gifts for Ohgi's engagement.

It felt better to be distracted by the living rather than the dead. But still, Kallen pinned up plenty of pictures on her wall of the old student council.

Gino had visited her small apartment once to the horror of Kallen and delight of her mother (she wasn't sure how that happened). He had brought her... pudding. And more incredible, he said that it was a delivery from Lakshata and Earl Lloyd.

"Hey, hot stuff," he had greeted her to her mortification (her mother swooned instead). "Here, some of Cecile's specialty. Can I come in?"

She had fully intended to shut the door, but proved no match for his entire weight. "Aw, c'mon Kallen, I was kidding."

"Gino! How nice to see you!" her mother said enthusiastically and let the boy in to Kallen's chagrin. "It's been a long time since I've met you."

"Of course, Miss Kouzuki, it's charming to see you again too." He kissed the woman's hand. Kallen made a face at the show of affection, but her mother didn't seem to notice.

"Dear, why don't you go make some tea?" her mother asked her. "I'd like to talk a little bit to Gino for a while, okay?"

"Fine, whatever," Kallen said, heading out to the kitchen to boil some water.

Kouzuki Kotoko wasn't a sort of person to hold grudges. Before she was hooked on Refrain, she had been a kind person who never started judging people without reason, and it was one of the reason why her husband loved her so much. But that kindness also made her vulnerable, a strain that was more unstable once it started breaking apart her mind. She remembered this as she held memories of her Britannian husband, a nobleman who could have abandoned her for some other woman. But he didn't. She refused to believe that he had done what he had done out of selfishness. It was her Achille's heel to believe the best of everyone until she was proved wrong more than once.

So it was with that reasoning that she said, "I want to thank you, Gino."

He was surprised at the woman's graciousness. "Pardon, but for what?"

"Kallen," she said simply. "You've changed her."

"Oh, that's not because of me-"

"I think that she was asking for help the very day she collapsed in school," Kotoko said. "Call it a mother's intuition."

The silence in his eyes were more than enough to confirm her suspicions.

"I knew that you weren't telling the entire truth when she was in the hospital."

"Kallen's a strong girl, you see," Kotoko continued to speak. "It was my fault... I wasn't able to cope with certain things. My therapist suggested me to open up to her, but there are things I cannot make Kallen understand. And I regret that."

Gino smiled at the mention of being unable to cope with certain things. "Kallen doesn't want you to worry."

"How can you ask a parent to _not_ worry? It's their job, and you worry if you've screwed up. _Especially_ when you're a former drug addict like me," Kotoko exclaimed, impatient hands gesturing dramatically towards herself.

She was glad to see that Gino wasn't shocked; that meant that Kallen trusted him enough to tell him her problems.

"Look, Gino. I know that _it's you_, a Britannian out of all the people in the world, that can bring her to life. Before you, all she did was eat, sleep, study. Our conversations together were monosyllabic from her end. Now... she _glows_."

Gino had been thinking of Kallen's soft scent after she had just woken up, her tiny waist, her scruffy red hair which he loved, her tendency to hide embarrassment under a cover of anger. They were things that characterized her. Sometimes he wondered if he was in love with love, but he would remember that this time was different. Kallen was a person who had a mind of her own, someone who wouldn't hesitate to make her own decisions.

"Since Kallen's father isn't here, I guess I'll be giving you my blessing in the case you start a relationship with her."

This startled him so much his mouth hung over.

"Who are you fooling, kid?" Kotoko said, laughing gaily. "You like her. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out!"

He coughed to cover his blushes. "I was just surprise-"

To his utter relief, Kallen slid open the door at that moment. "Hey, I made some Earl Grey. What were you guys talking about, anyway?"

"Nothing," said Gino and her mother simultaneously.

* * *

**Author's Note: I had to cut out some of this chapter. Makes for easier reading hopefully.**

**As always please review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Rant (you can skip it)**: So I just got back from watching the final Picture Drama of Code Geass (25.01 for those who are interested) and I gotta say...

That was probably the suckiest ending ever. I mean, it's sentimental and stuff like that, but really, is that realistic? Nuna-chan just strolls up to Ashford Academy with Zero behind her like it's nothing, Kallen quickly gets over Lelouch who is pretty much her first love (and goodness gracious, God knows I'm still not completely over _mine_) and everybody treats Gino as the guy who knows nothing about the old student council (ok that was just me and my biasm working). And some more useless stuff with Milly/Rival, the two most pointless characters in the anime that should have been killed off for the sake of Lelouch. T.T

_My point_: Canon sucks. Then again, the CG staff made Marianne die after being in like ONE EPISODE, so all this bullshit about a happy ending can go kiss my ass. :D KallenGino all the way, I don't care if the staff "says" they only look at each other as comrades. The only good thing they ever said about the ending was that Lulu is definitely dead. xD

**On another note**:

This chapter entails a few memories of Gino Weinberg, because every fun-loving blond bishie has to have a tragic past. (I particularly liked reading his. I mean, c'mon, he ran away from home after screwing with an Eleven maid. No wonder his parents hate him. n.n)

Uh, and Rival is supposed to be the President. Sorries for the correction.

There are OCs in here. :D

* * *

Gino skipped his next class, preferring to go straight to his dorm. He had no intention to see anyone. He locked the door, then changed his mind. He did not care for anyone to come in, but he also wanted someone to hear him. It was a paradoxical urge, perhaps something that his mother would have encouraged as an artist.

He was ecstatic. It had only happened to him once. After that, he'd sworn to never do anything of the sort, not because of his parents, but because he could not endure the pain that followed after a few months of bliss.

There was a cello, untouched, sitting in the corner. Vivi had sent it. She was always sending peculiar objects after he had said he was intending to live in Japan. It was her way of apologizing, but Gino did not love his mother enough to forgive her for the things she had said and done to him. It was painful to revisit those memories.

Yet this time, he took out the cello from the case and traced the initials he had carved on the back, a broken promise to always be with a girl who was far beyond his reach. Suddenly, he was fourteen again, and searching for that mysterious singing in the halls; heard, but not seen. Megumi Toda was a servant maid, yet she had an excellent mind and was very easy to get along with. Although she was thirteen, she had been well developed for her age. People took her to be sixteen, and she was very good looking.

She knew the value of things and worked well at school, not because she had an abstract love for learning but because the best students got scholarships. She had told Gino that being an Honorary Britannian had been her dream, since Japan had no chance of regaining back their status as an independent nation. She was just as good at washing dishes and mending clothes and_ really_ listening to him play the cello. He had caught her in his doorway as he had started his daily practice. Back then, he was working on the Bach's six suites of unaccompanied cello, and he was having a bit of trouble with the Prelude.

_"I can't play it," he said out loud. He penciled a few more fingerings, chewing on the end of the eraser. His private teacher had worked with him on it for two weeks, yet the high spacings between the notes was killing him._

_"Maybe if you release your thumb on the fingerboard it'd be easier," a musical voice answered him._

_He was startled, and looked around for the owner of the voice._

_The girl giggled. "Over here."_

_Gino opened the closet, and there she was dusting the antiques on the glass shelf. Oh. It was only a servant. He was a bit irritated that she had the audacity to give him advice over something like the cello and even more annoyed when he found out she was right._

_"That's better," the girl said, and started wiping the Swarovski crystals with a cream colored brush. "See, you're playing well."_

_"Be quiet," he ordered her. If his father was here, he would kick her out for even encouraging his son. It was a house that was steeped in tradition, and the Duke took it very seriously._

_"Yes, sir," she trilled. He glared at her and began practicing the arpeggios. But she distracted him too much that finally he set the bow on the stand and finally asked, "Do you like classical music, then?"_

_"Bach is my favorite composer," she had replied. "When the nobles often play music, I like to listen to them giving advice."_

The eighteen year old Gino Weinberg smiled bitterly at the memory. If he had not asked that question, perhaps _she_ would be living still in that wretched house. Perhaps his father would not turn away in shame as his only son eventually got promoted to the highest military position at the tender age of seventeen. Maybe his mother would be still married to his father, although she was the last to realize that their existence did not revolve around the Duke of Weinberg.

Perhaps he could have fallen in love with Kallen Stadtfelt instead.

He turned the screw to tighten the bow, and placed it on to play. He played the first piece he had been proud of; Elgar's Cello Concerto. It made him recall a time where he dreamed of performing in Pendragon, a city of wonders and culture. He made a few mistakes, but the melody came back rushing in due time. Gino's touch was warm and passionate, a tone full of anguish as the first movement progressed.

Who knew that he was going to end this way? What happened to those old dreams?

He thought about Kallen and her wonderful compact body as he plucked his impatient way through the second movement, the Lento - Allegro moto. _What is it about our first loves that we are unable to forget?_ he asked, and an image of Lelouch was before his eyes. If Lelouch had never existed, he might have never met her.

_Goddammit_, he thought. _I've been less cheerful than I should have been. Watching her is my drug. I could hurt Kallen so easily._

He rubbed some amber rosin on his bow and recalled the rubato for the third movement. He was concentrating so hard that he barely felt any traces of pain anymore. He expressed his emotions by exaggerating his bow speed, keeping the correct tempo, and imagining the harmonies of the orchestra as he played the cello. Edward Elgar was a master. He required absolute attention, absolute dedication. Occasionally Gino had to skip a few pages worth of music because it would be murder to play a section he was incapable of playing skillfully.

Ten years. Ten years of devotion, until he ran away from home at the age of sixteen. How was it that he turned into a person ready to kill in his indestructible Tristan? Was it _truly_ a Jekyll and Hyde transformation, a devious metamorphosis that stripped away his love for music?

By the fourth movement, he gave up. He stopped after the first three measures and got up to get a drink of water.

"Please... don't stop playing."

He thought he was hallucinating as he saw Kouzaki Kallen in her uniform walk in shyly in the door.

"I was just thinking about you," he says out loud, but doesn't stop smiling. Maybe it's not exactly a hallucination, but she's some kind of gorgeous and he can tell she's impressed. Even though he belongs to a certain class of people she formerly used to hate.

She blushes, but managed to say, "Hey! Don't say weird things."

"Okay," Gino said, and played for her Bach's Prelude, this time perfect even though it's been years since he's actually gotten up to tinker around with the cello. _Muscle memory_, his teacher said in a lesson ages ago. _If it's there, it won't go away_.

Kallen leaned back and closed her eyes, astonished that a man who lived nearly four hundred years ago can write music in a form so intimate to modern-day listeners. It was a long time since she had _really_ listened to music. She wondered if Lelouch ever got lost in a world outside of the political boundaries of Britannia, and she wished he could be here right now.

She opened her eyes when it was over, and was startled to see Gino with water in his eyes.

"Forgive me," he said. "You just reminded me of a girl I used to love."

He wipes them away with his sleeve and sees Kallen's surprised expression. She never thought Gino would be a sort of person who cried. Yet here he was, admitting that in his past life there was someone who he loved, and obviously he had lost her.

"Go on. You're dying to ask me questions, aren't you?"

She nodded mutely. After all, he knew a few things about her and Lelouch. It might not be too bad to know some of Gino's secrets as well.

"I was fourteen, unexperienced, and cooped up in my house. I was trying to figure out what to do with my life," he said, taking a tiny sip of his water to refresh himself. "My parents were always gone, so I had the entire mansion to myself most weeks."

"Was she a noble?" Kallen asked him.

Gino laughed, pleased with her question. "Are you kidding? They aren't any fun at all. No, she was a servant maid. Someone to play tricks on and maybe upset the whole household." He chuckled at the memory of the pair setting loose chickens in the house. "She's the reason why I'm convinced it's much better to be a commoner."

Kallen lifted her eyebrow, reminding him of Scarlett O'Hara from _Gone With the Wind_.

"So anyways, I get tied up in her friendship. Then a couple of her friends decide to dress her up for a ball they were holding in honor of my parent's anniversary. I danced with many girls that night, but she charmed me without knowing it."

"A Romeo and Juliet story?" Kallen asked him, entranced by the words coming out of his mouth. "How... _cheesy_."

He threw a careless smile at her, apparently not caring if she thought if it was cheesy or not. "The next day, I was practicing the cello and she kissed me."

Gino lifted the instrument and pointed to a scratch on the back of the wood. "See, we even carved our initials."

"How did it end?"

His face turned uncommonly serious. "Both of us were ripped apart. At that point, I was ready to commit suicide... but she sent me a letter after my father kicked her out like a common criminal. I ran away, joined the army, and got promoted to the Knights of Round."

"But what did your family do?"

Gino thought about it. "My mother decided to divorce my father. After Schneizel fixes up the EU, she's planning to move to Italy, her homeland."

"And your father?"

"I haven't spoken to him."

* * *

Rival was the student council president, but it seemed to Kallen that he was trying too hard to live up to the expectations that Milly Ashford had set in the years before. Of course, this could be part of his infatuation, but Kallen thought that realistically he ought to be more charismatic when it came to setting up cultural festivals.

"I've got it," Gino said, snapping his fingers. "Me and Kallen should have a Knightmare battle."

Kallen was pretty keen on the idea, except for one thing. "Uh, Gino? My Guren's down in the sea, so if we ever battle, you can't be in your Tristan."

Which was truly unfortunate, because she really wanted to wipe off the smirk off his face every time he caught her staring at his face. She couldn't always hit him in class, because she didn't need the grief of detentions or trips to the principal's office. Neither could she completely ignore him, because he was eternally by her side.

"Okay. You choose. Do you want a pair of Sutherlands, Akatsukis, or Vincents?" He ticked off a few mass-production Knightmares. Kallen only raised an eyebrow.

"Well first we've got to advertise," she said, crossing her arms, a frown on her face. "I can't just destroy a couple million dollar Knightmares just because I wanna see who wins in a battle."

"Yeah, that's right, Gino! Just 'cause you're the Knight of One doesn't mean people give them away for free." Russell piped up. He was in charge of the treasury, an efficient member of the student council who was mostly responsible for looking over their paperwork. He was a fun-loving Britannian whose parents had indirectly supported the Black Knights after Lelouch had implemented some policies against their family.

"Hey, but it sounds cool! The Knight of One versus the Black Ace. Light versus darkness," Caroline said. "I can see it now. When everybody waits for the giant pizza to cook, they'll be watching you two in the sky!"

"Oi, who are you calling darkness?" Kallen asked in mock anger, hitting the girl playfully. "By the way, I call the Ganymede to toss the pizza dough."

"GUTS!" Rival shouted out of desperation.

Everybody winced.

"It's not working on me Kaichou, sorry," Kallen said. "Even Milly can't make me work anymore."

But Amelia Schachter, the cool beauty in the group, raised her hand for once. "Rival, it's working on me. I just got legal permits to sell food here from the health department."

* * *

"So, how did it end up that we had to get drinks for everybody?" Kallen wondered as she accompanied Gino to the machines, a list in her hand.

"Don't ask," the blond said, sighing. "Y'know, for being such a hot specimen of a girl, Amelia's so _cold_." He was referring to her erratic behavior. Unexplained circumstances just seemed to follow the girl wherever she went. When she said something, people listened out of-not fear, exactly-trepidation. It was rumored that when she visited the dorms, pets would hide when they sensed her presence and people avoided her like she was contagious or something.

"Hm," Kallen put in some change and pressed a button for some grape soda. "She kinda reminds me of my old self, back when I..." She shook her head. "Never mind."

"Back when you were impersonating Kallen Stadtfelt?" Gino asked curiously.

"I said _never mind_," Kallen clarified. It was too embarrassing to admit she was a different person before she had accepted Gino's presence in her life. "Jeez."

People still avoided Kallen, but public perception was slowly changing after Gino fully showed his support for the redhead. She initially thought he liked her in a superficial way like so many others before him, but he was honest and much more handsome than she would bother giving him credit.

"Okay then, Miss Sensitivity." He put a bottle of apple juice in the basket for Caroline. "By the way, how's your mom?"

"She's great. She's trying to get a job now."

They were done, but Kallen hadn't gotten her drink yet. She fumbled in her pocket for some spare change, but Gino already pulled out of the machine a can of green tea.

"Here."

"How'd you know what I wanted?" She hadn't written it down on the list, planning to get it herself.

He only smiled his usual warm and happy-go-lucky smile, and suddenly she was self-conscious of herself although he was the only person looking at her.

"Thank you," she said, but her mouth turned dry and breathless. How would she describe a feeling like this? It was like her foothold was balanced on a perilous cliff off the edge of the earth, and there were only two options; to stay and remain forever the same, or to fall and take a chance. Her body suddenly grew warm and her eyes were bright and flustered.

"Let's go back, shall we?" Gino said and she nodded, so eternally grateful that he didn't say anything.

_Am I sick?_ Kallen wondered as she surreptitiously put a hand on her forehead, which was uncomfortably warm. _Or is this just a silly infatuation?_

It was so terribly foreign to her, the idea of actually falling in love with another boy and the possibility of having a teenage romance. It was different. Different than her and Lelouch, she meant. She rejected the idea; it just felt so odd. Not wrong, per se, but strange and thrilling. She wasn't sure if she liked it much, but as soon as the feeling came it left, leaving her disoriented and confused.

"Hey, Kallen..."

"What?" she said, a little too quickly for her taste.

"Are you all right? You look red."

"R-Really?" She gave a shaky laugh and tucked a piece of hair under her ears. "It was hot outside. That's all."

They entired the room, passing drinks to the student council.

"Thanks, man! Really appreciate you getting some soda," Russell said, and then whirled his chair around so he could focus better on his laptop. "Hey, check this out, Kallen. Zero's on the national news."

She instinctively stiffened at the mention of Zero, although the only person who noticed was Gino.

"Weren't you like, I dunno, his right-hand tool?" Russell continued to ask stupid questions, which irritated Gino. "I thought he was the head of the Black Knights."

But Kallen shrugged, deciding to let it go. "Yeah, more or less. But he's a different person now."

She was quite aware of Caroline and Amelia paying close attention to her response. There were very few people who would truly understand the extent that Kallen had gone through to liberate Area 11 from the hands of the Britannians. It was no secret that she was the one who was responsible for the death of the Knight of Zero, Kururugi Suzaku. But it had been necessary. The hardest part about keeping her head up amidst a world of curious eyes was being unable to tell the truth. Not even Gino would know, not unless he forced it out of her.

"Really? Did you kill a lot of people under his command?" _Another fucking stupid question_, Gino thought bitterly, wanting to punch Russell in the head.

"I didn't do it because I _wanted_ to kill," Kallen said sharply, and you could see the question hurt her. "Okay? You want a guilt-ridden confession, you're looking in the wrong place, buddy."

"Sorry," Russell said, though it was clear he was not sorry at all. "I didn't mean to question your morals or anything."

"Good," Kallen replied back evenly, although she was gripping her pink purse so tightly her knuckles turned white. "Because you have _no_ idea."

"O-Okay, guys, let's just get back to work." Rival intervened, looking nervously at both Kallen and Russell. "Please?"

"That's right!" Caroline said, her voice strong and clear like a bell. "All's fair in love and war. I'm on Kallen's side; she hasn't done anything wrong ever since Britannia humiliated the Japanese. I mean, Prince Clovis even ordered a massacre at the Shinjuku Ghetto!"

Kallen's mouth opened. "How did you know that?" She knew that it had been hushed up in the media; there had to be a good reason why Clovis was mysteriously murdered the day after.

"My aunt is an undercover journalist. It's her job to uncover the truth!" Caroline boasted proudly. "Someday she's going to make a documentary about the upheaval of Britannia and the Areas."

"Wow," Kallen said. "That's kind of cool."

She had never considered how many sympathetic Britannians existed in the Academy. The majority of Britannian students stayed either because their parents had a job in the bureaucracy, or perhaps even planned to make a living in the new era of democracy. Then again, before Zero appeared, she was forced to hide under her Britannian surname because of the extreme prejudice that existed as a social hierarchy.

"That's idiotic," Amelia interrupted curtly, pushing away her gin tonic as if it contained the plague.

Every eye snapped on the girl, her vivid green eyes snapping with anger. "That's ridiculous that you can just support the Black Knights. Have you noticed that they've killed so many people? The FLEIJA alone destroyed more than thirty million people! The sakuradite explosion at Mount Fuji wiped out another couple thousand."

She cast a baleful look at Kallen, and suddenly Kallen felt so small under her anger.

"It makes me sick to my stomach that you can just sit here like a normal person when really _you_ should be locked up in prison!"

Amelia stood up so fast that the chair she was sitting on fell over. But it was the least of anybody's worries. After that vindictive statement, she left the room and slammed the door in anger.

A pregnant silence followed, until Caroline, ever the resilient type said quietly, "That was the most I've ever heard from Schachter before."

Kallen sat down, not realizing that she had stood up as well, breathing hard.

Russell was the second to recover. "Kallen? I'm sorry. I was stupid to ask you questions."

"Damn straight you were," she replied, but her voice was no longer poisonous nor was it reproving. "Actually, I should have expected it. What was I thinking, coming here? Outside, I look Britannian, but inside I'm really Japanese. How can a Britannian understand?"

Gino understood how she felt, but it hurt him regardless that she would direct it towards Britannians. He forced himself not to say anything by propping up the chair back to its proper place.

Kallen bit her lip, then pushed away the stack of paperwork in front of her. "Hey Rival, sorry about today. I can't work."

"No problem." Rival said, his eyes averted from looking at Kallen.

"I have to go... and sort things out," Kallen said finally, and she too left the room. She glanced at the remaining members, sighed, and closed the door.

* * *

She wasn't in school the next day. Gino visited her apartment that afternoon and discovered her reading Nietzche in her room, sitting cross-legged and leaning on her pillow.

"Hey," she said, not in the slightest bit surprised that he was here.

"Were you sick?" he asked, even though both of them knew that wasn't it at all.

"No." She closed the book.

"Are you giving up?"

"No, just had to think over some stuff."

"Like what?"

"The reasons why I decided to come back here," she replied. "I guess I wasn't prepared at all."

He decided to sit on the edge of her bed.

"You sound like my mother," was the first thing that he said. And then he realized how stupid that sounded. How could he say something like that when she was in the middle of trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life?

She laughed, though. He then noticed that her eyes were red and puffy, and knew that she had been crying. She was still very pretty when her eyes were messed up, he thought, and he had to suppress the urge to touch her. Not only her face, but other places, too.

"God, what the hell am I doing here?" she gestured impatiently. "I feel like Kallen Stadtfelt again. She was good for nothing except for an excuse to skip school again."

"That's not a bad thing," Gino said. "I wouldn't mind skipping school sometimes."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, and he could see she was picking up herself again. Repairing herself, putting the pieces back again.

"But Gino... I'm scared."

He leaned over, realizing how much it took her to admit that she was afraid.

"This coming from the girl who wasn't afraid to destroy the Knight of Zero?" he said gently, cupping his hand under her chin.

Her eyes widened, her body going into alert-alert-something-is-happening mode, and it was a miracle that she managed to say, "That was different."

They were very close, and she could feel the warmth emnating from his body. It seemed like every muscle had been paralyzed, and she was unable to stop him.

"Not to me it isn't," he said, and then kissed her.

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope to the fanfiction gods that Gino isn't OOC. D:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**I'm back! Ahahaha.

I hope I'm not taking things too fast, but I'm pretty sure eighteen-year-old boys don't like waiting. ;D

* * *

First thought: _This was unexpected._

She should have seen it coming, though. It wasn't a secret that he was worming his way into her heart through devious ways, even meeting her mother. His lips were so warm, so welcoming, so lush. I'm listening to you, they seemed to say. _A message through a kiss_, Kallen thought as she closed her eyes. _Oh my_.

_This moment is perfect_, she thought, and she could feel him smiling. _He is perfect. He doesn't need to be anyone else, and I don't have to be alone_.

It was too soon when he pulled back. She was startled, and he was amused that she had responded back so favorably. He had expected her to push back, maybe to say "No, this is wrong", or if she was cheeky enough, punch him in the face. Gino was glad he had taken the risk.

"You know, I went back to Ashford Academy for you," he said.

Now she smiled. "You're joking."

Until now, she had never really liked blue eyes in a man. Blue reminded her of the color violet, which reminded her of her first love. Even the color blue was depressing. Her own eyes reminded her of her father every time she walked past the mirror, and that made her sad.

He kissed her again, and this time it was out of sheer pleasure. She was a surprisingly good kisser for someone who admitted to have given up Lelouch as her first crush.

"Why would I joke about that?" Gino asked her, once they had seperated due to lack of oxygen. "For one, I still have to beat you in a Knightmare Frame. I also wanted to win you over to be my girlfriend."

"You're such a player," she said, but her smile was genuine. "You've got all these fangirls."

"Do you think_ they _can pilot a Guren Mk. II and still look amazingly hot while doing it?" Gino asked her, a little annoyed that she was being so self-deprecating. "No. They can't. So don't you ever think I'm playing around with your feelings. I swore I'd never do that after Lelouch used you."

He pulled out some papers from his schoolbag. "By the way, I brought you some homework. Thought you might like it."

"And they claim chivalry is dead," Kallen said, getting off her mattress and pulling the curtains on her window to the side to let some sunshine in.

* * *

Amelia Schachter didn't speak to Kallen after her outburst, but Kallen didn't really care. After all, who was the winner? Kallen was still in one piece, in love with a wonderful guy who reciprocated her feelings, and even if she was pegged as a murderer she had to admit she was in good company. No one threw rocks at Empress Nunnally even though the girl had recently admitted in a press conference to pushing the trigger for the numerous FLEIJA warheads during the Last Battle between Prince Schneizel and Emperor Lelouch.

Still, it was disconcerting to find out how many people showed their true colors after word gotten around that yes, she was going out with Gino Weinberg. It was a change being talked about for something that made her happy instead of being discussed when they had no idea of the circumstances behind the rebellion.

"Kami-sama," she said out loud as she saw her spiral notebook marked all over in permanent marker. "You'd think that people would be more mature to deal with something they can't change."

_You stupid little whore, I bet you slept with lots of people! You're just seducing the Knight of One to get his money._

She sighed. Well, she had only paid fifty cents for the notebook... She tossed it into the recycling bin. Were they, whoever they were, disappointed that she hadn't broken down in sobs? It was annoying. Her mother had gone through much worse, she was certain, so she received her hate in a dignified manner. A couple of girls had tried to fight her, but they had severely underestimated her and some ended up crying themselves.

Gino was quite aware of the abuse happening to her, but he was just as helpless to prevent it.

Rich people could be just as vicious, if not more so, than common bullies.

"Sorry about this," Gino said once at lunchtime. They were sharing a loaf of Italian bread, bought from the local bakery. They were sitting outside under the shade of an oak tree, enjoying the presence of each other and the fresh air.

"It's fine," Kallen said. He liked the way she shrugged, her shoulder lifting higher than the other, her mouth forming a little moue. They formed a harmonious whole which brought out the silent beauty of her existence. It was more than just her supreme beauty that was remarkable. It was a fire that burned in her actions, a woman of movement and not words. He liked her very much.

"No, really," he insisted. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"No more than when my mother was pining for my father after he left," she answered. "And anyways, I know what it's like to be jealous."

"Jealous of what?" he asked.

"Lelouch had a girl around him. Someone named CC. I used to spend nights hung up, envious that she was his number one priority." She shrugged again. "I don't know where she went, but it doesn't matter now."

He couldn't resist putting a finger on her mouth. "You know, we have another thing in common."

"What?" Kallen didn't bite his finger off, which he took as a good omen. She had been more submissive since then, but it still didn't guarantee she wasn't going to punch him sometimes.

"We both really like talking about our first crushes."

"So?"

"Did you ever think that maybe we're just too hung over them?"

"Not really," Kallen said. She tore off a piece of bread and chewed it slowly. "I know personally that Zero's doing what he's doing because of his first love."

"Oh, really? Still won't tell me who he is?"

She shook her head. "Can't. He wouldn't want you to know."

"So that means I know him."

Kallen looked at him, and it gave him the shivers. "Yeah. Pretty much."

"How'd you contact him?"

"Lelouch's funeral. It just happened."

"I'm jealous of him, then." She smiled a quick oh-you-joker-you smile, which made him smile too. They looked as if they were exchanging words of love and not as if they were discussing who Zero was.

* * *

After Nunnally regained her eyesight, she discovered that she had the power to pick up people's intentions through the touch of her hands. It was a bit like going to the library and looking up information on a particular subject.

The problem was, the more distant the memory, the harder it was to retrieve it. She had no idea if it meant they would shortly forget about it, or if they knew that their memories were being invaded. Unintentionally, she had stumbled across the blueprints of the Zero Requiem by taking her brother's lifeless, cold hand and wondered, _How could this happen to Lelouch?_ And the answer was inside her mind; the pain was magnified knowing that he essentially had planned to take his own life for the sake of her.

When she had taken Jeremiah Gottwald's half metal, half fleshy hand, she discovered that he was a very truthful man, if only because he had loved Marianne the first time he had seen her in the imperial court. Perhaps if Marianne was still alive she would say to Nunnally, "Never underestimate the power that a woman has over a man. And never tell them that you have it either." Her mother, she remembered, was sly and coy and powerful and weak at the same time, and Lelouch had been enraged that her life had been taken so easily.

Apparently, so was Jeremiah. He'd left the Aries Palace and transferred to Japan in order to honor Marianne's legacy, which he fought against Japan to the best of his ability.

But enough about Jeremiah. She had requested to see Zero in private, and while he was here simply because she knew that he knew the details of the Zero Requiem, she knew that he was anxious to get back to his orange farm. Her brother had been kind enough to supply a safe place for his supporters after his planned death.

He walked with her to the room and said, "I'll be waiting out here, then," and her brain was cool and blank, trying to plan her conversation.

The conference room was dark, and empty, and it reminded her of her mother.

Zero entered in his purple splendor, his mask a barrier from the rest of the world. For a second Nunnally's heart beat fast, but her common sense dictated her to keep calm. This was the man who was going to live forever with the burden of murdering his best friend.

"Zero," she said, in her lilting, childish voice. "Thank you for being here."

"What is it that you wish from me, your Highness?" His voice was muffled, but she detected a slight accent. Lelouch never spoke with an accent. She closed her eyes, wishing and hoping that it was never going to be Suzaku. She didn't want such a kind boy to suffer from the weight of the world.

"I wish for you to take off your mask, Suzaku Kururugi."

"You must have mistaken me for someone else, your Highness. I am only Zero."

"I only wish to tell and comfort my dear friend that what you have done to Lelouch will not make me hate you."

"I am Zero," he insisted once more.

"Well then, Zero, _I_am Nunnally vi Britannia," she answered back with a measure of coolness. "I am the Empress of the Holy Britannian Empire, formerly ranked eighty seven in the line of procession, Viceroy of Area Eleven, now recently called Japan. I cannot be fooled by a masked symbol of the rebellion. Please take off your mask, my dear friend. You have nothing to worry. Orange-kun is outside the door, and I believe he knows every detail of your plans for the Zero Requiem."

Slowly, with deliberate movements, he put a strong hand to his mask and pulled it off to reveal the honest face of Suzaku. She hadn't seen his face for nine years. He was taller, and thin as a twig. But while his body was still young, his eyes had visibly aged, as if he had seen everything there was to see and nothing else would have bothered him anymore.

"You can see me," he murmured softly, and wiped away her tears with a gloved hand. Her eyes were beautiful. They could have been the same shade as Euphie's.

"Yes. I don't know how, but I can see."

"The Emperor forced you to become blind because you were a witness to Marianne's murder. It was part of his Geass."

"And I had overcome his Geass?" Nunnally questioned.

"Yes."

"Is that why I couldn't see Lelouch for a year?"

"Yes."

"Did you capture him?"

"Yes, but I was naive at the time."

She went quiet.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Answering my questions."

"I'm a dead man, Nunnally. I attended my own funeral." Suzaku shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Don't I matter to you?"

"Of course you do. But I can't go out anymore and talk with you like I'm a regular person."

"You did with Kallen," she accused him.

"That was different."

"Are you in love with Kallen?"

This time, he hesitated, but unlike the Nunnally from before, he couldn't hide his expression from her. She could see every movement of his face.

"My true love lies with Princess Euphemia, but Kallen is alive, and I have learned that the people who are alive are sweeter to me than the dead. Yet, the dead often have a greater impression on me.

"She was an enemy on the battleground, but she has a good heart. I admire that. I killed the man she loved, but she has the heart to forgive me."

"I wish I could see things the way you do, Suzaku," Nunnally said, finally. "I would rather take on your burden and have you in my position."

He chuckled darkly. "You know not what I have done. I walked through hell to become what I am."

"_My_brother would have walked through hell," Nunnally retorted. "It wouldn't be a problem for me to bear his burdens while he is in the afterlife."

She was fifteen and bound in a wheelchair. _She had already been so weak_, Suzaku thought sadly. Yet it was that same weakness that helped her build her strong character. She wasn't a person who would be part of the power hungry nobles that often made the bureaucracy the way it was: rotting and decrepit inside.

"You don't understand," Suzaku said, trying to convince his best friend's sister that it wasn't her job to look after him.

"Suzaku, please stop treating me like a child," Nunnally said sharply. "I know that Lelouch convinced you to kill him."

He flinched at her brutal description of his deed.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I would have been so happy to live with the both of you," she said sadly. "Did I ever ask for Lelouch to bend people's wills to make a kinder world? Did I ever ask you to fight him? Did I ever want to be Empress and have every person in the world analyze my every move, public and private?"

She gripped the handles of her wheelchair. "So, you think _my _job isn't as fucking hard as yours, Suzaku?"

It was the first time he had ever heard Nunnally curse, and it sounded twice as obscene coming from the usually quiet and polite girl. She was crying again, but her eyes were so fierce he dared not to touch her face again. He was afraid of this new Nunnally. This was a girl who had already been exposed to the dangers of the world, no longer innocent or naive. It made him wary. It was disturbing.

"I didn't mean that," he said. "I only meant-"

"You're treating me like I have no choice in the matter. Well, here, let me give _you_a choice. Will you, Kururugi Suzaku, serve me to the best of your ability?"

Suzaku looked at her, her back so straight and formal, her eyes so full of determination. He was oddly touched by her concern. She was becoming more like Euphemia day after day.

"Yes, your Highness."

* * *

Villetta and Ohgi's wedding was held first in Toudoh's dojo. They had decided to hold the wedding in two parts over the span of two days. The other half was exchanging vows in a quaint ninteenth-century cathedral. It was an unorthodox approach to a multiracial marriage, and it was particularly noteworthy because Ohgi was the Prime Minister of Japan.

It didn't matter which was which, Kallen decided. Japanese or Britannian, they were all the same people under the blue sky, especially on a day dedicated to love.

She did laugh, however, seeing Gino dressed in a _hakama _for the first time. Kallen was wearing a kimino herself, a garment that required careful maneuvering. It had originally belonged to her mother, but she had lent it out for the special occasion. It was an exquisite shade of blue with a delicate pattern of cranes, and with her red hair pinned up there was no other woman in the reception who looked more beautiful then Kallen.

"It ought to be a crime to look better than the bride on her wedding day," he observed wryly. "But you look smashing."

"You too," she replied, but she smirked. It was one of those days where she actually felt that she was a woman, and a beautiful one at that. _Not_a silly excuse for a girl with oversized breasts and sticks for legs, although they held up quite nicely in comparison to the others.

"Kallen, come here," commanded Sugiyama. "You too, Gino."

They glanced at each other and then walked towards him.

"What's up?"

"You guys mind watching who comes in the shrine?" he asked him.

Kallen looked over her shoulder and saw Tamaki already on the way to becoming smashed. She sighed. Couldn't Tamaki just stay sober for at least part of the ceremony?

"How should we do it?" Gino asked.

"Simple. Just check guests off the list once they come in, and close the door after eight o'clock. It's a private ceremony, and people should understand that we don't accept latecomers, friend or not."

Kallen bit her lip. "I don't know, what about our seats?"

"I've already reserved them; you get the front."

"And Gino?" she asked. "What about him?"

Sugiyama scratched his head, then brightened. "You know what? You can take Tamaki's. He shouldn't be allowed to be so close to the groom anyways."

"Deal," Gino cut in.

"Good," the blue-haired man replied, relieved that the matter was resolved. "Hey, can I talk to you, Kallen? Just for a second."

"Sure," she replied, and she stepped into a room that had a door that slid shut.

"What's this about, Kento-kun?" she asked him curiously. "Is this more about the wedding or what?"

She remembered how he was part of the original six members of the Japanese Resistance before Zero had entered their lives. Out of the many people involved in the Black Knights, Ohgi chose to honor the people who had supported his goals from the very beginning. And that included Kallen, the young, tough-talking pilot. She had been honored, and it was in a display of loyalty that she openly supported whatever Ohgi planned to do as Prime Minister.

"Yes, Babyface," Sugiyama said, her old nickname back when Naoto was alive. "You're the godmother of their kid, you know that?"

"Really?" she whispered, her eyes widening as if she had been granted a wish.

He nodded. "Ohgi wanted me to tell you that before you start crying at their ceremony."

Kallen blinked her eyes furiously in order to stop the tears falling. She was _not_ going to ruin her makeup by crying, no matter how much she wanted to.

* * *

The ceremony started off with the bride and the groom walking side to side in front of the Shinto priest, where Kallen saw him purify the couple by sprinkling salt. Villetta looked radiant, her mocha-colored skin complimenting the silk veil and her silver hair pinned up in the traditional Japanese custom. She was wearing a multi-layered white kimino (Kallen explained to Gino later that it was called a _shiro-maku_, and it was worn to symbolize fidelity and virtue in the bride).

Ohgi, on the other hand, wore an elaborate hakama the color of dark navy. He looked very happy as they exchanged vows in front of the priest. As Kallen saw the couple drinking the sake from a celadon bowl, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of wedding her own parents participated in.

They ended the ceremony by slipping on silver rings. Then everybody lined up for a big photo-shoot.

Kallen made sure to smile more often then crying (which was often) and congratulated Ohgi about a billion times. After that part was over, the guests headed toward the main expanse of Toudoh's living room to sit on purple cushions and enjoy the traditional atmosphere. There were tables situated around the one in the middle, which was where the couple sat.

"So, what'd you think?" Kallen asked, after they sat down and were waiting patiently for the food to arrive.

"It's pretty cool that I got invited," Gino said. "I mean, I'm like the only Britannian around here."

She laughed. "You forgot Villetta."

Kaguya was sitting next to them. "My, Kouzuki-san, you look so pretty today."

She was accompanied by Tianzi, and immediately Kallen bowed to both of the Empresses. "Thank you, Kaguya-sama."

"No need for formalities," The youngest heir of the Sumeragi clan replied. "I haven't thanked you enough for protecting me, especially during the coup d'etat from Tianzi's wedding. You remember that, right?"

Kallen nodded. A match of Lelouch playing chess against Schneizel wasn't a memory she would forget easily.

"Empress Tianzi, how is China doing these days?" Gino asked. "I enjoyed my time in the Forbidden City." He was deployed there a few days after Lelouch's murder to restore peace. It had been chaotic, but Britannia had done well to intervene, considering that Emperor Lelouch was hated all over the world.

The white-haired girl smiled. "It is doing well, thanks to Xing-ke. He couldn't make it because of health problems. But thank you, Knight of One, for asking."

"How long are you staying here?"

"A few days. I must leave very soon, but it has been quite lovely."

A few more guests came up to speak with Kallen, but it astonished Kallen how there were no traces of antagonism that Ohgi had chosen to marry a Britannian.

The food was beautifully prepared, mindful of the Japanese aesthetic. There were many dishes that passed by, but Kallen could only remember a few, such as the excellent _kazunoko_ (salted herring roe) and the _sekihan_, a dish of rice served with red adzuki beans. Anyways, it had been some time before she had tasted proper Japanese cuisine.

Gino was having a lot of fun trying new things, and he had a childish interest in things Kallen thought were ordinary, such as the _katsuobushi_ that they gave out.

"Wow, what is this?" he said, putting it up to eye level. "Food for koi fish?"

She groaned. "No, silly, it's dried bonito flakes. Dried fish, basically. It's a common gift for guests at a wedding."

"Oh. Sorry, just a learning experience." He gave her a goofy grin. "You know, I really enjoy this kind of excursion."

She waited for him to elaborate. "That's the beauty of being a Knight; even though you're a Britannian, you're allowed to travel around the world."

Kallen scoffed. "Sure, like being made pets of the Emperor and killing people."

He didn't try to argue, as he was in the company of Toudou. After all, he had been responsible for the death of Senba Ryoga, a former member of the Japanese Liberation Front. Him being here was already dangerous, especially if some guests had already taken to drinking.

But it hit a nerve anyway.

"I'd like to think nowadays I'm more of diplomat," he said quietly. There was a hard glint in his eyes, but before Kallen could object it was gone.

What was she thinking? _He_ was the Knight of One, she was back to being a regular civilian. What she had done was to insult his livelihood and his way of living just because he had only stated the truth.

"Gino, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-" she started to apologize, stricken. "I didn't _mean_ that."

"No, you're right," he said, but the damage had been done. "I just wish you wouldn't judge me either. Schachter wasn't your girlfriend or anything, so I guess she's easier to ignore-"

"You know what? Forget it," she said. It was the closest that they had gotten to an actual fight.

A couple of minutes passed by without them saying anything.

"I give up," Gino finally said. "You know how in the history books they always write about the woman who misleads the man?"

She punched him in the shoulder. "Jerk."

But he was grinning that goofy grin of his and she couldn't help melting inside a little. How could you stay angry at Gino? It was impossible. He was like the sun. No matter how long it rained, the sun had to come out sometime.

She wouldn't admit it, but inside she was grateful that he was the one who took the initiative to take them out of a stalemate.

The evening ended with a wonderful display of fireworks. As much as Gino wanted to spend time lying on the grass next to her warm body, he forced himself to sit up.

"Kallen," he said, distracting her momentarily from the splashes of light across the night sky.

"What is it?"

"I'll be leaving for a month after the wedding. I've been called on duty, under Empress Nunnally's orders."

He felt sick at the expression on her face. "Don't look at me like that, it's not my fault. I'd rather stay here than go to Britannia."

Kallen swallowed, rubbing her throat to get circulation. "No, it's fine. I know the world is in chaos. It's fine," she repeated, aware that she was going to be cut off from her best friend. Her voice was several pitches higher than her usual voice. "Britannia needs you, I understand."

She tried to take deep breaths, but it did nothing to quell her panic that rose to her chest. What was she going to do for thirty days? Revert back to her empty shell?

Gino watched her face as it went through various stages: denial, anger, depression, and finally acceptance for what was to come. She was wonderfully simple in that respect: after processing things through, she could get over it. After all, it wasn't the same as seeing Lelouch dying in front of her eyes.

She sat up herself, pushing back a piece of her red hair behind her ear. "I guess we'll have to enjoy our last days together, huh?"

It sounded like a death sentence to Gino, and it probably was. When you are together with someone, every minute feels like an hour. Every second is not a merely a second, but a moment in time where it has been carefully preserved. A month would be the equivalent of five years to an ordinary person, and it would weigh heavily on their hearts as they parted.

It was Kallen's turn to decide where things could be, and she decided now would be a good time to kiss him.

* * *

**author's note: Well now, that seems like a good place to stop.**

**REVIEW PLZ. :(**


	7. Chapter 7

"Do you, Ohgi Kaname, take Villetta Maria Nu to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

That was a stupid question, Kallen couldn't help thinking. Obviously, if they had chosen to get up at seven A.M. in front of the alter to look into each other's eyes like a flock of dazed sheep...

But the way her surrogate brother said "I do," without hesitation and the way he planted a sloppy kiss on Villetta's lips erased all doubt from Kallen's mind that this was a perfect wedding. She was happy for Ohgi that he had found the woman of his dreams, even if she was Britannian.

Gino was the first to applaud, which didn't surprise her one bit. He was the romantic. He believed that she would eventually fall for him, and he was right.

She laughed at his irresistible, charming smile.

"What's so funny?" he asked her as the sounds of clapping continued to fill the cathedral.

"Nothing. Nothing is funny," she said, but there was something about him that made her smile involuntary. Like it was infectious, and she couldn't help herself from doing it.

As people began to stand up and yell and cheer and whistle and clap for the newlyweds, Kallen could not pull her eyes away from Gino. Before, she would have never considered the idea of marrying for herself. But now she watched him unconsciously, and she thought: _I could spend the rest of my life with him and I wouldn't mind_.

The confetti fell on the floor like a blanket of snow. Kallen picked a silver piece of the ground and slipped it in her clutch purse. She wasn't sure why she did it. But it felt like the right thing to do at that moment.

* * *

She didn't know how to dance. So it took at least three painfully awkward minutes to teach her a simple form of the waltz, and finally as Gino twirls her around on the ballroom, she said something that she always had wanted to ask, but never had the courage to do so.

"Why did you save me, back when I destroyed Suzaku's Lancelot?" she asks, her cheeks pink with exertion.

He holds her close, a hand placed on her waist and another on her small shoulders. The closure made her breathless, and it's one of the things that made her forget all about Lelouch.

"Why wouldn't I save you?" he asked her. They separated, but their hands were clasped together.

"I don't know," she said. "How well did you know me?"

"Well enough to know that the world you were fighting for made a lot more sense than the one Suzaku had in mind."

"I used to think you were annoying," Kallen stated bluntly. "The only thing we had in common was piloting souped up Knightmare Frames."

"That was the thing that attracted me to you in the first place," Gino pointed out. "Heck, it wouldn't have mattered if you were a _guy_. I would have been interested to see the Ace of the Black Knights any day of the week."

She scowled.

"Will you please shut up? I'm trying to tell you something."

He smiled. "Okay. Sorry. Go on."

"It took me a long time to get over Lelouch," she admitted. "Do you remember when I stayed at your apartment for a night?"

Gino nodded. It had been the turning point for everything.

"Well... I had a dream about Lelouch. I was sucked into this fantasy world, the cloudy kind. And what do you know, there he was, clear as day." Kallen's eyes focused on Gino's face as the dream organized itself in her mind. "Usually, my dreams that involve Lelouch replay the scene of him being stabbed again and again."

"He said that he'd chosen to visit only two people on Earth, because that was how everything worked in the afterlife. And that I was one of them. The other one was Zero."

She took a deep breath. "The only thing I remember after that was Lelouch saying he loved me."

Gino's breath was cut short. "Kallen, how can you be sure that a_ dream_-"

"That's when I knew Lelouch was a fucking liar after all this time," she said pleasantly, as if Gino hadn't interrupted her narration at all. "He was a bastard who took a lot of people for granted, including me."

"Oh." For once in his life, Gino is struck speechless.

"What, did you expect that I was going to keep pining after a dead man?" She grinned mischievously. "C'mon, Gino, give me some more credit."

He puts his hand to his face. "Jeez, Kallen, give me a heart attack why don't you."

Now her smile was softer, more womanly. "Nice to know you're afraid of losing me."

She offered her hand to him. "Teach me the tango?" she suggested gaily. "It takes two to tango, you know."

* * *

Anya had watched the scene with a cool eye, sipping her sparkling cider as she sat in one place at the dance floor.

So Gino had found a girlfriend. And even more unbelievably, it was Kouzuki Kallen, the former ace of the Black Knights.

She wasn't sure how she wanted to feel about that. Part of her was a little jealous, but not because she liked Gino in _that_ way. It was because she ached for the sort of attention that Gino used to give to her and now didn't anymore because things were changing.

There was a time where he had to be cheerful for the sake of three people. Now that Suzaku was dead and Anya lived a thousand miles away from Japan, it felt like Gino had changed as well. He looked more serious, more inclined to take things as they came instead of living in a world perpetually drenched in sunshine.

Lost in her thoughts, it took her a few seconds to realize that a person was speaking to her.

"Sorry, what did you say?" she asked, turning her head to reply. Then froze.

"I said, do I know you from somewhere?"

A boy that she had never seen before was standing before her, champagne in one hand and a camera in another.

"Uh..." She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

"Wait, you're Anya Earlstreim, right? I read your blog all the time." He had dimples. And a head of brown curls.

"Thanks. Who are you?" She managed to ask him without sounding like an idiot. Then she realized that was impossible if he realized that her eyes were fixed on a point beyond his face. She didn't want him to know who she_ really _was: a flustered yet flattered, orange-farming sort of girl who had no experience when it came to the opposite sex.

"My name's Russell White. Groovy wedding, huh?"

She shrugged. She had an okay evening, but nothing spectacular had happened to her ever since arriving in Japan.

"How'd you get invited?" he asked.

Anya pointed to Gino. "I'm an old friend of his, but I don't really know a lot of people here."

"Oh, so you know Gino?" Russell said, pleased that they had something in common. "He's on the student council. He's really popular at Ashford Academy. I'm on the student council too, but I guess I'm too nerdy for the student population."

"I didn't know he was going out with Kouzuki," she said. It seemed the right thing to say, considering she wasn't a student at Ashford anymore.

"Yeah, it was pretty big news for a while," Russell nodded, taking a sip of his champagne. "But I guess they kind of gravitate towards each other."

"They do?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe it was something that had to do in the war." He shrugged. "A lot of girls like Gino, but he never looked at them twice. And I know personally that a lot of guys tried to hit on Kallen, but she's not that kind of girl."

"They're pretty good pilots," Anya said. "I fought with them during the rebellion."

"Too cool!" Russell exclaimed, and snapped a picture of her. She blinked once, utterly bemused by his over enthusiasm.

"You're kind of weird," she said, tilting her head. "Mind if I take a picture of you for my blog?"

"No, not at all." He gave her a big smile, and she clicked the shutter valve on her camera. "Sorry for talking so much. I do that when I'm nervous."

"It's okay. I like people who talk a lot," Anya admitted. "I never have anything interesting to say."

It was the reason why she liked Gino and hung around him. And Russell, well, he seemed to be all right. And he was nice. If every guy was like him, maybe she would have more friends.

"Are you kidding?" Russell asked. "You're a Knight of Rounds. You _live _with a half cyborg human and a kunoichi."

"Well, they're more like ordinary people once you get used to them," Anya said. "Once you get past the fact that they could kill you in three seconds, it's all good."

She giggled at his expression. "Jeez, I'm kidding. I'm pretty sure it's around ten seconds."

He seemed flustered and began to tap his foot. "So, uh, now that we're properly acquainted and everything, care to join me for a dance?"

Anya considered it. She knew how to dance. At the Aries Palace, it was one of the things all proper ladies had been instructed to do.

"Sure," she said.

* * *

"I'm going to kill that kid," Jeremiah said, and rose up to do so.

"You are_ not_," Sayoko interrupted sharply. "You do that, and I'll throw sixteen individually marked _senbon _on all your pressure points."

He scowled and sat back down. "Still! She's only sixteen."

"You're forgetting that she's trained in military combat, kills without hesitation, and wants to be a ninja." The maid retorted, and took another bite of the sumptuous wedding cake. "I'm sure if that boy lays one hand on her she would be qualified to retaliate in the most effective way possible."

Jeremiah glanced at Sayoko to make sure she was serious. She was.

"Your nunchucks are sticking out," he said, not impudently. "Are you doing that to intimidate him?"

"Maybe," was the only reply he got.

Shinozaki Sayoko was a person who was raised from birth to protect. She was the shadow: imperceptible, but always there. It was something that Jeremiah had admired ever since spending some time in the same room together. He often wondered what happened before her life under serving Lelouch. Not to mention she was probably the only woman to equal him in terms of combat ability and loyalty.

The thing about Sayoko was her lack of individuality. Anya thought it was peculiar how she could agree to anything. Anything Anya wanted (which admittedly wasn't much) she got, no matter how ludicrous it was.

But Jeremiah persisted in studying her. As a man, he was attracted to her, but he had already pledged loyalty to another woman. Although Sayoko was quite different than Marianne, he had learned to appreciate her as a mother figure to Anya.

"Do you see part of Nunnally in Anya?" he questioned her.

"Occasionally," Sayoko answered. "I guess that's why I feel a need to take care of Anya."

She straightened up, and asked a question of her own. "And what are _your _reasons, Orange-san? Is it because Nunnally-sama asked you to entrust Anya in your hands?"

"I..." he hesitated to tell her the truth. It would be so easy to confide in Sayoko, but he did not want this woman to judge him for his mistakes in his youth.

He cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully. "I take care of Anya because I understand the feeling of being manipulated. Before I was refitted into this body which I had no desire to do so, I was a pathetic excuse of a man. But after breaking free of my chains, it was like... being reborn again. And I think that after giving Anya her old memories, she's regaining interest in life."

He gestured to the couple dancing on the floor, Anya's movements graceful while the boy opposite her seemed so clumsy in comparison. But they seemed to have a good time.

"Basically, I see myself in her," he concluded. "And I want her to grow up to be a person she can be proud of. Not detached or... or what she used to be."

"I see," Sayoko commented, sipping her black coffee. She liked it strong.

"Metaphorically or literally?"

"Both," Sayoko replied, smiling as they observed Anya laughing at something that the boy said from a distance. "You're a good man, Jeremiah Gottwald."

_You have no idea, Sayoko_, the blue-haired man thought. _You are dead wrong_.

* * *

They kept themselves good and sober. Not that it wasn't fun once in a while to drink occasionally, but Kallen couldn't help thinking that tonight had to be something special - an unforgettable night shared with people she loved and fought with. Gino was playing a few songs on his cello with the ensemble that Villetta put together. Now they struck up a lively tune, quick and frivolous.

"Care to dance?" asked a fairly young man. He was rather good-looking, and he had a voice she vaguely recognized.

Kallen gave him a once over and agreed. She was in a good mood to humor anybody, including Tamaki.

"Sure," she said. Gino didn't mind that a lot of men wanted to dance with her; he knew that she was a beautiful girl and would attract the attention of quite a few people.

But this person was more forward than anybody else. For instance, the people she had danced with never dared to place a hand on her waist. Nor had she encountered someone who was so graceful on their feet, or knew their way so well. This man was leading her, and she found it exhilarating.

When the music was over, it felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over Kallen's head. She finally recognized who he was.

"What are you doing here?" she said, face pale as chalk.

"I?" he asked, chuckling darkly. "I wanted to see how you were doing, Kallen."

"You - you - " she stuttered. "You shouldn't be wandering around here."

"If it took you so long to figure me out, Kallen, then I'm a safe man."

Kallen observed his face without fear now. "You've changed."

"So have you."

"I met a man who wasn't afraid to accept me," she said fondly, thinking of Gino. "He is really quite amazing."

"Unfortunately for me, a person like that has already been winked out of existence," Suzaku replied back, his hands still on her waist. "You look beautiful, as usual."

"Thank you, Suzaku," she said softly. "How is Nunnally?"

Now the ensemble struck up a serenade written by Tchaikovsky. They danced again, but it was slower and Kallen had time to concentrate on both her feet and her companion.

"Different. You would be surprised how well she's taking her job seriously."

"Is she still..." Kallen wasn't sure what to say. "Happy?" she suggested.

His hand involuntarily squeezed hers. "I don't know."

Suzaku was being careful around her. He had no intention of provoking her, especially to a person who could reveal him as Zero.

"How are you doing?" Kallen asked, for lack of anything better to say.

"I'm doing my job."

"I asked how you were doing, not if you were doing your job," Kallen pointed out.

He sighed. "Well, to be honest, I think it's events like these that restore my faith in humanity."

It sounded so harsh to Kallen's ears, but his green eyes softened. Although he was wearing a face mask that disguised him very well, he hadn't bothered to change the color of his eyes.

"Do you dream of Lelouch?" he said, to change the subject.

"Sometimes," she said, her eyes sad and so depressingly blue. "But his death, I think, isn't the most important part of his life."

She had been thinking a lot lately about the fact of the matter. It wasn't easy to think about Lelouch's achievements from her perspective; after all, she had stuck with him from the very start. But out of all the people in the world, it would have taken someone truly selfless from the start to execute his decisions.

"You think that?" Suzaku asked her. He was inquisitive, not combative.

"Yeah, I do." Kallen said.

She disentangled herself from his gloved hands. "It's okay if you don't think so. But Lelouch wouldn't have wanted us to wallow in sadness for so long."

Suzaku had already seen her leave. She wouldn't understand, perhaps she'd never understand. But the Geass command placed upon him was a curse that would always follow him wherever he went. He could not get rid of Lelouch's shadow that easily.

He didn't love Lelouch like she apparently had... but it still wasn't_ fair _to just leave him like that.

Suzaku put his hands in his pockets, watching her head towards the stage pavilion and wishing that she would come back to him. Even if she belonged to someone else now.

* * *

Gino was putting away his cello and unscrewing his bow when Kallen caught his eye dancing with an unidentified guest. He frowned, which was uncommon for him. Usually he preferred to smile and laugh and annoy people with his perpetual goofiness, but this guy was bothering him. Gino had a sixth sense when it came to detecting someone he knew, and he was pretty sure that Kallen had a connection to this mysterious guest.

However, he was relieved when she walked back to him, and the first thing he did was to give a light kiss on her cheek.

"Something wrong?" she asked him, her blue eyes full of concern. God, she was beautiful. Sometimes he thought that karma was going to send a stroke of bad luck or whatever in exchange for this brief time that they had together.

"Can't you look more cheerful when someone's kissing you?" he teased her. She blushed a pretty-making pink, and mumbled, "Sorry for asking..."

"No, it's okay. I was just wondering who was the guy who danced with you last."

"Oh," she said, smile vanishing. "He was a friend of mine."

The stupidest thing about having Gino as a boyfriend was the fact that you couldn't lie to him and get away with it. And this wasn't a conversation Kallen had ever planned to have with him. Ever.

"What kind of friend?"

She scowled. "Hey, what's with you giving the third-degree all of a sudden?"

"Just curious," he said lightly, fiddling with her dark strands of hair. He noticed that in the right light, it was the color of a bright ruby. And in the shadow, it resembled a dark maroon.

"You're a possessive type, aren't you?" Kallen asked him, amused that he was having a moment to himself. "That's not healthy, Gino."

He smiled, then said, "Can you do me a favor? It's not bad or anything," he added.

"Sure," she agreed.

"You mind taking care of my dorm while I'm away?" He asked, and pressed into her hand an old fashioned key with two golden prongs at the end. "You know, keeping it clean and everything."

"All right," she said. "No problem."

It was hard enough pretending she was going to be fine after he left. Harder still when he kissed her neck and planted light kisses on the side of her jaw. No one was looking at them in the darkness, and for that she was grateful.

"Think of me always?" he asked her.

"Always," she vowed.

The wedding banquet ended at midnight, and Kallen put on her coat. The night was warm, but she felt terribly cold at the thought of facing tomorrow without Gino. She was taking the train home from the government building, and she felt hollow inside. It was a reminder of what Lelouch did to her shortly after his death, tearing her to pieces.

They stood at the balcony, lingering in those precious minutes that were slipping away like sand in an hourglass.

"Cold?" he asked her, and she shook her head.

He hugged her anyway. This time, it was a friendly hug, a goodbye-for-now hug that could only be executed by Gino to his friend.

"Mm. You're warm," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder. _Gosh_, she thought, _I'm turning into a big softie. All because of this idiot._

"You don't think I'm evil for going away, do you?" he asked after releasing her. "I could quit if you want..." Money wasn't an issue when it came to his job. It was the nice thing about being born into nobility. You had so much of it that it was a relief to live without it.

"No," she said firmly. "I think we owe a debt to society. It's be a poor example if you just decided to quit because of someone like me."

Gino was an expert at figuring out body language, and he could see the cracks in her determined stance, her strong supple hands halfheartedly squeezing his. He could tell she meant every word that she said, but at the same time could see the appeal of him being at her side all the time.

"If you say so. By the way, I wanted to give you something."

Kallen never liked gifts, because it meant something permanent. But this was Gino. He was different from everybody else because he understood that Kallen wasn't a person who would hand her heart on a platter. It would take time and care to win her over completely.

A flash drive resembling a red feather dangled from a leather necklace.

"For you. Consider it my symbol of everlasting love," he said, grinning in his silly way. "I hope you like it."

"Is that my... Guren key?" she asked, running her index finger over the familiar grooves.

"Yep," he said. "It's where your heart belongs."

"Oh," she said, and then her eyes started welling up. "Gino, you idiot, you shouldn't have..." No one had ever understood what it was really like to fly in a Knightmare Frame for the sake of flying and not for conquering or fighting or something completely unrelated to the wind and breathtaking view from below. They were sharing a pilot-to-pilot moment, and it was something that was indelible from their past. They might have different reasons for fighting, but in the end it was because they were damn good at what they did: flying.

"I take it that you like it?" he asked.

"Yes. Very much so," she said, and wiped her eye with her palm. "Geez, you must really like me, huh?"

She put it around her neck, and Gino was pleased to see that it fit her perfectly.

"I could write a book about the millions of things that I like about you," he said, simply and honestly. "But that would take too long."

"Always the romantic," she retorted, but it wasn't reprimanding.

"For instance," he said. "The first time I saw your face, I saw someone who was confident. Strong. Seriously badass, especially after you took out my float system on Tristan."

She smiled at the memory. If she could recall correctly, his first reaction was stating out loud for anyone to hear, _"Wow, she looks prettier in real life than in the picture."_ She had been surprised that he had no qualms about admiring an attractive woman regardless of her being on Zero's right hand side.

"Then," he continued in his breezy, airy voice, "I realized that you had more layers to yourself than that. Especially after meeting you in prison."

He visited her exactly four times (not that she counted).

"So why didn't you, I don't know, say anything?" she asked curiously.

"Because it was obvious that you didn't like being a monkey on display," he answered her dismissively. "Plus I saw the monitor video with you beating up Suzaku. I didn't want to say anything to him, but he looked a real mess after you were finished with him."

She giggled. "Oh yeah, and then I said I was ready to die. I mean, a prisoner laid hands on a Knight of Rounds." People had been sentenced to death for far less than that.

"You, Kallen, are really just a piece of work," he said. "After asking the Stadtfelt versus Kouzuki question, I thought maybe my chance to actually be with you was over. So I enjoyed it when you broke out of prison."

"Really," she said skeptically. "You didn't even get to fight me."

"Doesn't matter," he said, shrugging. "Seeing you fight was good enough for me back then."

"Actually, I wanted to fight you. Not Suzaku," she admitted. "It would have been something new. Exciting." Suzaku was a good pilot, to be sure, but even Kallen liked a bit of variety when it came to combat.

"Glad to know I made an impression," he said cheerfully. "Now, you tell me what you like about me."

"Gino, please," she said, a little embarrassed. It was one thing to hear her good attributes and another to tell what kind of attributes she liked in her boyfriend.

"Tell me," he said. "You totally owe me."

"I like how hot you look in your flight suit," was the first thing that popped into her head, but she would have rather stabbed herself with her pink purse than to actually admit that to him. She had, after all, a sense of pride.

So she decided to tell him the second best thing about him.

"I like the fact that you don't bullshit around," she said. "I mean, if you want something, you'll get it."

It was true. People didn't notice it, but Gino Weinberg had goals and aspirations just like anybody else. In his case, it was to eliminate Britannia's ridiculous theory of Social Darwinism. It sounded fancy on paper, but what it really meant was getting rid of the blatant racism that Britannia had caused in the first place. Gino had already pointed out that Suzaku had defeated Britannia's best soldiers in less than five minutes. What was more humiliating was that the video had millions of views over the Internet, making the Knight of Rounds look like a joke.

Not that Gino minded it personally; it was his father that suffered more than he did.

Kallen leaned back, taking it in. Gino was so different than Suzaku. He was confident whereas Suzaku was meek, and it was a wonder how they had ever gotten to be friends.

"I like how you weren't afraid to open up to me. That was... new." Kallen said. Then, in a smaller voice, "I'm not good at relationships, so I don't know how much to give or take."

He reflected on this. "Then that's because people haven't really gotten to know you. After that, it's easy."

Gino could take anything and make it sound better than it was. It was a gift. It was probably why people were naturally attracted to him, like moths to a flame, whereas Kallen was rough around the edges. If he was a flame, then she was a torch in the dark, dispelling shadow to make room for light.

"You believe that?" she asked, just for the purpose of hearing his voice.

"I do," he said easily, as if it was no big deal. "Look, Kallen, you've gone through stuff that no one understands. You've suffered enough. Don't try to strain yourself."

"Right," she said softly, knowing full well that it was easier said than done.

"Close your eyes," he said.

Their lips met, his like fire to hers. The taste of him was intoxicating. A sweet flutter ran up her belly and it felt like the earth had no gravity as his strong arms held her waist and a hand pressed against the nape of her neck.

When it was over, Gino sang a verse of a song he once heard. "_Hello hello. When I say hello you say goodbye, you say goodbye._.." To Kallen, it seemed as if it his voice was blending into the noises of the other guests, and he had faded into the darkness of the balcony.

She opened her eyes once she could no longer hear him, and she knew that he had planned this. To make it less painful. To suggest the impermanence of it all.

But he was gone. And she wouldn't see him until he came back.

_I am not going to cry_, she said sternly to herself. _Look at you. You're losing your edge_, she reminded herself.

She shivered in her coat. Then Kallen was astonished to find a piece of paper, carefully folded, in the corner of her pocket.

She took it out, at first not understanding anything. It was contained words in Japanese calligraphy, and it was so perfect that she thought Gino must have copied over and over again to get it right, to clear any possible misunderstandings just in case.

_Aishiteru._

Kallen looked over the horizon, where a few stragglers were waving farewells. Some were still dancing, many tipsy from too much champagne. Strangers started singing, a few stumbling. There were so many people down there that it made her heart ache, and yet she could not spot one who was six feet tall with messy blond hair and absolutely perfect in every conceivable way.

_In this ocean of people_, she thought as a solitary tear ran down her cheek, _I could only love you._

* * *

**author's note: This chapter was really really long, so I hope readers will forgive me for delaying the chapter.**

**Reviews are much appreciated, I love you all, hope you recommend this to all sorts of people. :D And of course, if you have concrit, it would be awesome. **


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So I definitely know this chapter is LONG overdue, but once I hit my writing stride I plan to finish this story for sure. :D

* * *

It all started on a Friday afternoon.

There were some days where it was somber and dark, especially when Kallen looked at her mother when she was in deep thought. Her mother was still difficult to deal with and once Kallen caught her contemplating the blade of a kitchen knife. Kallen had then taken upon her the task of cutting the vegetables after that.

She was afraid of what was happening to her mother but did not know how to stop her.

There was a conversation they had shared after school that Kallen had analyzed later in bed. Her mother had a wisp of hair over her dark eyes, sipping some hot tea.

Now Kallen entered the door, and there were the usual conversation - "How was school?" - "Fine." - "Did you learn anything useful?" - "Not really."

But there was a variation on this one, a stark difference from that day and before that.

There were photos strewn on the kotatsu; some Polaroids with scribbles on the bottom, a few black-and-whites, and a small leather album that Kallen knew too well contained memories of their fateful marriage.

Her mother seemed oblivious to Kallen's gradual expression of horror.

"Have some tea," she said in her gentle voice. Her daughter mechanically did so, her hands shaking a little bit.

"Mom..." she began to say, not knowing how to begin.

Her mother brushed her off with a wave of her hand. "You know, I was walking to the supermarket today, and I just saw this adorable couple. Just adorable."

"_Mom..." _Kallen began again.

Her mother had realized, for the first time, that she was actually talking to her daughter. Instinctively her reflexes was a defense mechanism against any possible insight.

"Never mind what I said," her mother said a little too brightly, and started to shuffle up the strewn photos.

Kallen clamped the woman's wrist. "Mom," she said with a tone of finality.

"What?"

"What happened with the couple you met?"

Her mother started then to breathe heavily, and now Kallen could see she was on the brink of tears. The older woman smiled weakly.

"I don't know... It's very strange, not feeling that stupid panic thing inside you all the time. Without that you just start thinking about yourself - and what does that ever get anybody. Today, I saw them and I felt myself giving them a dirty look - I had no idea everything was moving in the wrong directions... "

"Go on," Kallen said, wanting to take on the emotional toll. She had a feeling where it might go, but she was curious for herself.

"I even remembered what it w-was like t-to have a man to h-h-hold hands with, for Christ's sake."

An audible sniff came from this insight. Her mother's eyes were shiny and wet, and Kallen took her hand. At this act of kindness her mother burst into tears. "Aw, who needs these thoughts?" She tried smiling but it was a futile effort. It was obvious that she felt pathetic for feeling lonely, and Kallen was moved.

"Are you saying that you feel frustrated-"

"Leave me be!" the other one suddenly burst out, red, furious, angry. "Why are you doing this? Why are you picking at my sores... What is it that you want?... You want what? What's with you? I hope getting me thinking of everything that's wrong when all _I_ want is to not do this, as if it has some purpose."

Now silent tears were flowing down Kallen's cheeks as well.

Her mother glared at her, slumped and defeated. "What do you want? I give up, what do you want?"

"I want you to be happy."

Her mother shook her head. "No, it's impossible. I've tried so hard to find happiness. The only happiness that I ever had left me."

She got up, put on her jacket and headed out.

Kallen did not look back.

* * *

There was a side to Kallen's mother that Kallen would never know.

As usual she got out of bed, dressed quickly, and put some bread in the toaster, and packed her schoolbag for school.

"Kallen," her mother said shortly. "There was a call from the somebody yesterday."

"Really?" Kallen said absentmindedly, as she decided between dark green or dark blue socks to wear with her brown shoes. "Who was it from?"

"They said your father was dead."

Now she stopped and paused to look at her mother. "What?"

"They said your father was dead."

It was much worse hearing it the second time. When Kallen met her mother's eyes she knew that her mother knew everything. Kallen had tried to hide from her.

And she failed.

"Mom..."

"Go to school," her mother said calmly, her eyes an oasis of tranquility.

Kallen had no choice but to obey.

* * *

She came home with an odd sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

She unlocked the door with her key, kicked off her shoes, and said, "I'm home."

No answer.

She tried again. "I'm home."

No answer.

Now she was afraid.

The bedroom door was ajar. She pushed it open and walked in. Through the farther side of the room she could see the bottom of a suitcase. Just over the suitcase dangled a pair of feet.

Slowly, like the hand of an old clock, the feet turned clockwise; north, north-east, east. And then counterclockwise; south, south-east, east.

Kallen vomited. She could not help it.

After wiping the bile off her mouth, she sobbed.

* * *

The police came quickly, and she gave the rudimentary details. She had committed suicide by her bipolar disorder from the aftereffects of heavy drug use.

Kallen was tired. Villetta and Ohgi and Rival and Tamaki had came to comfort her, but there was no denying the grim fact that her mother was dead.

It wasn't her fault, they kept saying, but Kallen could not help thinking that she was somewhat responsible for her mother's life. She understood that the right to taking one's life was inviolable, but sometimes a reason or a friend can make that unnecessary.

She had been on heavy medication, Kallen thought bitterly. Damn doctors. They didn't give a shit about an Eleven, especially one who had been a drug addict. No hope for her, so why bother curing her?

Kallen did not step inside her mother's room after that. She spent some time on the stair steps of their apartment, vaguely questioning abstract concepts. Her eyes, formerly the color of a summer sky, were now gray and sad. She wore the same clothes for three days; faded out jeans, a dirty white blouse, and black sandals. They were clothes that her mother used to wear when she worked in the Stadtfeld garden.

Gino found her like this lying on her couch in her apartment after Villeta had relayed the sad news to him. She looked like a broken doll, empty and lifeless.

He could not bear to see her like this.

"Kallen," he said, touching her shoulder.

She looked at him, her eyes raw and empty. "Is that you?"

"Yes, baby doll, it's me," he said softly. "I heard what happened."

She smiled weakly. "You shouldn't see me like this. I'm a wreck."

"There's always something about a wreck that you can't take your eyes off it," he responded. It wasn't supposed to be an endearing statement. It was just a natural response.

She chuckled, though. "Oh, you joker," she said fondly, although it hurt to think how her mother would have appreciated Gino comforting her like this.

Kallen had slept very little since her mother died. It was too hard to let go of the past and start living in the future.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His bluntness surprised her a little bit.

"I would have done it already if I had the words for it," she said sadly. "It's as if I was..." Kallen paused, the grief causing her voice to vanish. She tried again. "It's as if I was peeled open for the world to see."

He sat beside her. She laid her head on his shoulder, her hand entwined with his, and she focused on breathing in and out.

"It's so painful," she whispered. "To know that my mother would let me down, in the very end."

Her eyes were wet and dewy. "I thought that maybe when she had a therapist, things would get better."

"Maybe it was a moment of weakness," Gino said.

"I wish she trusted me to make things better."

"Maybe it wasn't you."

And Kallen just looked at him like he was crazy. Or someone to be pitied. Or both.

"Someone doesn't just commit suicide after thinking it about a day."

"She was always dependent on my father, " Kallen said, as if she agreed with him. "I knew that even though he left her, she clung to the hope that maybe, somehow, he would leave his wife and come back to her..."

And now that her hope had vanished, she had gone.

Tears splashed, and suddenly it felt as awful as it was the first day when she found her mother hanging from her room, her neck at an odd angle. The air was squeezed out of her lungs, and she sobbed and sobbed until she didn't have any tears and the pain kept building up.

Until she felt asleep, she swore the hand stroking her hair over and over again belonged to her mother.

* * *

The empress of Britannia woke up cold, and curled into a ball. The few rays of sunshine peeked over the horizon, but had no warmth as they crept over her body.

She blinked, and was astonished to find a woman waiting for her. Not a maid that she recognized, nor was it anyone who was allowed in her palace, much less her own private _bedroom_.

Her reaction was instantaneous. A mad scramble ensured that Nunnally was pointing a loaded pistol at the woman, an arm supporting her back as she could not sit up straight by herself.

"Be calm, Empress," the woman said. "I am not here to kill you."

The teenager did not budge from her position, eyes staring straight ahead. "Then why are you here? I have many enemies."

The woman was very fair, with raven hair in flowing cascades down to her waist. She was tall and reminded Nunnally of her late mother, although Marianne did not have a symbol on her forehead. Nor did Marianne ever prefer to dress in complete white.

She seemed amused by the gun. "I know no material boundaries," she said, and her hand went through the gun barrel and emerged with her flesh intact. "Certainly not _those_ that determine _my_ death, anyway."

Nunnally lowered the gun, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're a witch. Just like C.C."

"Yes."

"I have no use for witches," Nunnally said mildly and tucked her weapon on her nightstand. "My father had V.V. at his disposal, and I cannot walk thanks to him."

"Do you not find your truth-finding Geass useful?"

"I have," Nunnally acknowledged.

"Then you have been bound to me."

"If I renounce my Geass, shall I still be bound?"

"Yes."

Nunnally thought for a few moments. "If I am bound, then may I inquire who you are?"

Now the woman hesitated. "I have been called many names, however, I would prefer you to call me Phillipa."

"No double initials?"

Her sculpted lips turned upwards in a smirk. "None whatsoever."

"How can I trust you?"

"You can't," Phillipa said simply. "But perhaps this will change your mind..." The fair woman clapped her hands twice, filling Nunnally with an enormous sense of well-being.

And although Nunnally had blinked for only a moment, the woman had gone, leaving nothing but the scent of blooming magnolias behind.

* * *

The next day, Kallen looked and appeared relatively normal.

When someone tentatively where she had been, she simply said she had been ill for a few days, but yes, she was better now.

It wasn't that she lying, because she _was_ better in a strange way after crying.

But the death of her mother was too much for her to talk about. The tears were still there, waiting to be sloshed around like some overfilled basin. Any movement would tip it over.

She was very careful now, taking her time with words she examined before saying them.

Gino kissed her that morning and headed off to the ambassador's office telling her he would try to get a position near her. It had been a sweet gesture, but she was especially wary of him. She didn't want to hope for something stupid or impossible.

The student council had taken note of the change that had come over the previously hot-tempered girl. In her place, there was a quiet, thoughtful person who somehow miraculously turned into Saint Teresa, complimenting people on the most trivial of things and taking time to thoroughly check up on the things she missed while she was gone.

"Kallen-senpai," Caroline said respectfully, when they were alone and Kallen was revising budget cuts for the many student organizations. "Did something happen? To you, I mean."

Kallen took her time putting down her fountain pen. She was fond of Caroline for being the very few people who stood up for her in school, but she was also very cautious about who to trust.

"You mean, why am I different?"

Caroline nodded.

"I... lost someone who was... "

Suddenly her throat had lost control. A lump made it so difficult to talk.

"It's ok, senpai," Caroline said, and her voice was really quiet. "Did you two... break up?"

"No!" Kallen quickly.

And then her eyes were downcast. "My mother committed suicide."

It sounded so odd, admitting it to someone she didn't understand for the first time.

"Oh my God," the other girl said. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Kallen said, and she picked up the pen. But the two of them knew it wasn't.

"How do you go to school and... just act like you're fine?"

Kallen half-smiled. "Because I have things I have to do, and thinking about her isn't going to help me any."

"How can you control what you think?"

"No war stops for a warrior who dies in the middle of it," Kallen said darkly. "My mother did what she needed to do."

"You thought your mother _needed_ to kill herself?" Caroline asked, her pitch of voice escalating higher and higher. "You mean, you don't care?"

"She was already dead in the first place," Kallen said flatly. "To her, killing herself should have meant nothing to me."

"Well." Caroline's voice was now cold and flinty, unexpectedly _sharp_ to Kallen. "That's just awful. To have no faith in your mother. Just _awful_."

The girl turned on her heel and slammed the door as hard as she could.

Kallen felt as if she had been punched in the stomach.

Then she picked up the ink jar, examined it for a moment, and then hurled it at the door where Caroline had exited. It shattered into a thousand pieces and the ink stained the carpet, giving her no little satisfaction as she realized how difficult it would be for someone else to clean it up.

_She has no goddamn idea_, Kallen thought. _Not one bit_.

* * *

"I have something for you," Gino said as he was driving her back home from school. "But I'll have to drive you there in order for you to see it."

Kallen cocked her head, eyes widening in anticipation.

"What is it?"

He simply smiled his wonderful crooked smile and evaded her questions while piquing her curiosity at the same time.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Gino asked lightly, as his hands were on the steering wheel.

"What?"

"You're glaring at me. Did I do something?"

"No," Kallen said, and realized that she had an ugly grimace without knowing it. She rectified her expression to what she hoped was slightly pleased and embarrassed.

He shook his head. "You don't have to lie to me, you know. Penny for your thoughts?"

"I told Caroline about my mother, and it came out wrong. She thinks I was heartless to have no sympathy for her."

"Did you?"

Kallen hugged herself as if she was getting colder. "I think I always had a chip off my shoulder when I looked at other families... I resented her for a lot of things."

She scratched her neck. It was itching like hell ever since her mother hung herself from her bedroom. "I'm an illegitimate child, really. How dysfunctional can you get?"

Gino chuckled. "Not as dysfunctional as mine."

That provoked a smile from Kallen. "True."

"You're not afraid of me, are you?"

"No."

Which was not exactly true, Kallen thought. She wasn't afraid of him in the conventional way. She was more afraid of him being able to dissect her every thought, every secret that she didn't want anybody to know.

They stopped in front of the government building, and he parked in front. Being Knight of One had privileges, and Gino shed his leather jacket before heading out in the crisp autumn air.

Kallen was still in her school uniform, and she thought it was strange to be in this sort of place off-limits for civilians.

The receptionist let them through the glass doors after two security guards verified that they weren't armed. Gino, being a Knight of One, was on good relations with Ohgi and therefore passed by without any trouble.

They walked through a chrome hallway and at the end Gino slid his card key to enter the last door.

Kallen could see it was a warehouse of some sort and she could hear the whirring of machinery. She wondered where she was.

Bright sunshine momentarily blinded her and she had to blink before taking in her surroundings.

"Ohoho, I didn't expect your commission for _her_, Weinberg-san."

"Commission?" Kallen asked, as Lloyd grinned at the pair of them. His beautiful assistant, Cecile, was as always by his side and maintained a smile.

"He's financed a whole new Knightmare for you," Cecile said. "I do say it's our best work, but we didn't expect the pilot to be you, Kouzuki-san."

"Mm, I would have expected another Knight of Round for the Empress," Lloyd interjected. "I assumed that the client was very skilled."

Kallen swallowed. She could not imagine how much money a Gen-9 Knightmare would involve.

She furiously turned to him. "_Why_? I'm not going to be recruited as a Knight for you."

Gino noted the spark that appeared in her gorgeous blue eyes whenever she was angry. God, he loved her so much. He could go broke (a laughable prospect as of right now) and he'd still be happy if she was with him.

"I just wanted you to be happy," he said simply. "If you don't want it, I can have the two of them calibrate to a different pilot."

He held the keystick in his palm. "Your choice."

Kallen hesitated.

"Okay," she said. She felt weirded out, and like she had been pressured into something that might turn into something weird.

"Excellent!" Lloyd exclaimed. "I feel reassured that my baby is in sweet hands."

"You don't feel weird that I, the former enemy, should possess... this Knightmare?" Kallen asked.

"I don't have much of an allegiance to anybody," Lloyd admitted. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

A few lights in the ceiling cast a harsh glare on the Knightmare that stood underneath a white sheet. It was small, for a Ninth Generation Knightmare.

"Behold," Lloyd said dramatically, and he pulled the taut fabric down to reveal - "_Isolde!_"

The mecha was sleek and electric blue. Small, but emanated an aura of deadly power. Kallen took a liking at first appearance, spying a Hadron blaster on the left and a nasty-looking claw on the right.

"What do you think, hmmm?"

"It looks awesome!" Gino said excitedly. "Kind of like Guren but better."

"No!" Lloyd said, slamming a palm on the control panel. "Not that silly machine that Rakshata concocted. My prototype extends the Energy Wing to a whole new level!"

"Okay then," Gino said apologetically. "Isolde it is."

Kallen kicked Gino playfully in the ankle. "You clever bastard, you named it on purpose, didn't you?"

His face was an expression of innocent bewilderment. "What?"

"Your Knightmare is named Tristan. _Tristan and Isolde_? C'mon, that is so cliche," Kallen said, but she was smiling.

"Ah, but you like it, don't you?" Gino winked at her. "Let's take it out for a test drive why don't we."

* * *

In life, there are sudden events that change your life that could easily scar you if you couldn't handle it gracefully. In this case, Nunnally had stumbled on a startling revelation - _her legs weren't numb anymore_.

When Nunnally's leg bumped into the nightstand, she shrieked out of surprise that she could feel it.

_My legs? I shouldn't be moving like this - and how did I move them there in the first place?_

Her eyes were confused as one tentative hand lifted her knee. Like magic, it bent effortlessly without the burden of her arms.

Nunnally's eyes were wet. She could walk now! Phillipa had granted her wish, a wish she'd thought was absolutely hopeless and stupid to wish for. She thought she had accepted her disability a long time ago, but she couldn't help crying over the fact that she had always suffered from being blind and crippled.

_Thank you, Phillipa._ She sent a quick prayer, and then swung her legs over her bed, eager to start walking.

And tripped.

"Ouch!" she said, her forehead in pain. She had overestimated her strength. Of course, considering she hadn't walked since the age of four, she wouldn't exactly be running marathons in a day.

Nunnally grasped the edge of the night stand, and slowly pulled herself upright. The exertion tired her instantly. But she was proud of herself. For the first time in many years, she was standing tall.

"Do you like your legs?" Phillipa asked, and Nunnally was startled. She hadn't heard anything; it was as if the witch silently swooped over her, watching her every move.

"I do," the girl said humbly. "And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't but also wonder what you are _expecting_ from this very valuable gift you have bestowed on me."

"It's up to you, Nunnally," Phillipa said carelessly. "I'll be back when you learn how to run."

She kissed Nunnally on the cheek, and the teenage Empress looked at her benefactor for only a moment. Her eyes were questioning, innocent, possibly even _naive_...

Then she blinked, to which she discovered that the witch had disappeared in a flash.

* * *

**A/N:** I like this story too much to give up on it. I have more ideas and I hope that some of my readers will go back and re-read my previous chapters.

Please review. I'm probably planning a lemon next chapter, too. I've been meaning to write that out, considering that this will be a mature story.


	9. Chapter 9

**author's note**: I don't really want to change the rating to M, so here's a warning before hand - there is going to be a sex scene at the end of the chapter. :p

* * *

"Suzaku, how do you suppose I'm able to come up with a good story as to explain why I can walk?" Nunnally asked the boy reposing against her chair in a very Lelouchian posture.

"We could release to the press that we've been privately seeking treatment at a medical center," he suggested. His mask was still on, as always. It stopped bothering her a while ago; she knew he would take it off for her when she asked him to.

"Then the nobles would pester me to cure their sick relatives," Nunnally said, frowning.

"How about a confidential doctor who fitted you excellent prosthetics?"

"No. The secret would come out, and I would be forced to admit the truth. The exploitation of the Geass is not something I wish to our country to begin. My father and mother have committed a mortal sin because of that very power."

She crossed her hands together in quiet contemplation. When C.C. had given Lelouch the power of control, he had changed the world with his sheer will.

Perhaps Philippa expected the same from her. She began to think, pacing up and down in her slippers.

"Suzaku, do you think you could find me a double? A double who is about the same size as me, crippled, and is about the same age?"

* * *

Kallen was free.

As the engine buzzed and rose hundreds of feet above the ground, she could feel her problems wash away. Her euphoria was intoxicating, and she let out a whoop before she remembered Gino could hear her. The Knightmare moved to her every touch as if it was directly connected to her mind. Lloyd had introduced to her specially crafted gloves that were touch-sensitive, something that Lakshata had never applied to her previous Guren S.E.I.T.E.N.

He laughed. "Good, isn't it?"

"It's amazing!" Kallen said enthusiastically, and did a figure eight in the sky. "Fucking awesome!"

He laughed even harder at that. "It's too bad we can't fight right now, they've set up airspace limits."

"So where _can_ we fight?"

"Let's ask Cecile," he said gaily, and the violet-haired woman popped up on both of their screens. "How about it?"

"Lloyd says that it's acceptable to fight over the sea. He designed all emissions to be environmentally-friendly."

"Okay!" Kallen said and cranked the accelerator. "Let's race!"

"You're really getting the hang of Isolde, haven't you?" Gino asked, as he shifted into his battle-plane mode. It was a feat of engineering that allowed Tristan to shift from a mecha to a jet plane. Isolde had the same capabilities, but it was sleeker and possessed invisibility, meaning that it would render radar useless if one specifically tried to detect Isolde.

"I don't know," Kallen said into her mouthpiece. "I haven't tested it out yet."

And as a joke, she fired a small but deadly missile, which he caught and altered the direction so that it imploded safely.

It was funny, when they both talked about their fight later, how it ended up in a tie. They didn't fight seriously; it was all good fun, and none of their equipment had been damaged. They were good enough pilots to know when to go easy and when to go full-out. Kallen flew Isolde back to the government building where Lloyd assured her that she would be free to access the Knightmare as long as she had proper government identification.

"The Empress has been making regulations regarding war since the peace is quite fragile," Gino said thoughtfully once he drove Kallen home. "I suppose this might be time to tell you goodbye."

Kallen looked up sharply. "You mean you can't stay here?"

"No, Kallen, I can't. As soon as I can I have to fly Tristan back to New Pendragon."

"But... "

"I promise if something happens to you, Kallen, I would willingly fly back to you."

Kallen looked away. Her life had been a mess, and she had depended on him to make it right. For the first time, she had willingly forgave herself for the death of her mother. It was easier now knowing that someone still accepted her.

"Nunnally trusted me to do the right thing," he said. "I can't stay any further from her, especially when someone needs to protect her."

"She has Zero," Kallen said, as selfish as that sounded.

"I don't trust him," Gino replied. "He's a masked vigilante. I know that you used to work under him, but he's still a symbol of anarchy."

Kallen had nothing to say to this. It was all true.

"Britannia needs someone who isn't afraid to take responsibility - someone who can get us out of this mess."

"And that's you, right?"

He smiled his wonderful smile. "Right. That's me." Gino braked the car to stop at her house. "Well. See you."

Kallen made to exit, but right there and then she wanted to admit to him that this whole afternoon was like a dream. Everything was light and happy, and she could not bear that she had to go back to her lonely apartment without any warmth or any of his silliness or charm. She needed him as much as she needed air.

"Would you like some tea?"

* * *

_Anya has been distracted for the past month_, Jeremiah thought as he packed the harvest in bushels. When he raised this to Sayoko, she grinned mischievously and said, "You think this has anything to do with that boy she met at the wedding?"

He only made a grimace. "Teenage infatuation, you say? I should hope not."

But it seemed like all the signs were pointing to it. The other day Anya had asked him, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

He tried to analyze the implications of the question. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "Never mind," she mumbled and locked herself in the bathroom for twenty minutes as the cyborg stood, trying to figure what Anya wanted.

"She's only sixteen," Sayoko said reasonably as she patted his metallic shoulder while they were sharing a cup of coffee later in the night, long after Anya locked herself into her room. "Frankly I'm surprised it hasn't happened earlier."

Jeremiah said nothing in respond to this, sipping the strong brew. He had developed a taste for strong coffee, like Sayoko did.

"I never really understood girls when I was her age," he said seriously. "I think maybe I was a little too ambitious when I was her age."

"You don't say," Sayoko remarked. "I didn't have much of a choice. Father enrolled me into ninja academy ever since I was very young."

"Did you ever try to escape?"

Her laugh was beautiful and infectious. "No, of course not! My whole family is from a clan of ninjas, trained to respond and hide in the shadows. I myself specialized in the Royal Families, and as you remember I took special care to hide the fact that Lelouch was still living and of the Imperial family."

"Do you miss him?"

"Lelouch-sama, you mean?"

He nodded, and she considered it.

"I don't know if I _miss_ him, really... What he did was incredibly selfless, of course... " She tucked her hand under her chin, lost in thought. "I think if I was much younger, I would have fallen in love with him. I admired his brilliant intellect..." She paused, and then suddenly narrowed his eyes as if she had said too much.

"But why did you ask me so many serious questions lately?" Sayoko asked him politely. "Does this have anything to do with Anya?"

"No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"That's all right," she said, and put her mug into the sink, intending to wash it later. "Goodnight, Jeremiah-san." She disappeared into the bedroom.

"Goodnight," he said.

The truth was, he was curious about Sayoko. No other woman was more delightfully charming than her - like Marianne, she was kind and sweet, yet fiercely protective towards the ones she loved. Both of them were fully capable of killing those who threatened the security of their kin. Both possessed an elegance that could not be mired by blood nor corruption.

He rubbed his temple. _Don't go there_, he reminded himself. _Marianne is dead. And you know that_.

_She used Anya to selfishly gain immortality. She could not have loved her children_ _if she banished them to Japan_. _She gave you her burdens so that she could purify the world - without **you**._

Yet she didn't kill herself; she could only hide Anya from her memories before Charles went so far...

"Jeremiah?" A pink mop of hair peeked at him. "What are you doing so late at night?"

"Thinking," he said, which was the truth for once.

"About?"

He smiled. "You."

"Don't joke like that."

"I'm not. Would you believe me if I knew your parents at one point?"

"No," she said staunchly. "I don't have any parents. I'm an orphan."

"Even orphans have parents. The difference is that the parents are conspicuously absent from their children's life."

She frowned. "Well, I think you're lying. You and Sayoko are enough for me."

"You don't think it's a bit weird?"

"No, where did you get that idea from?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, Jeremiah."

"What?"

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

"Love?" His eyebrows were raised. "What's with you all of a sudden?"

"Never mind," Anya said, blushing as she looked away. "I just wanted to know."

"Love is pain," he said bluntly. "Love isn't like the movies, Anya. It's ninety-percent worrying about someone who doesn't reciprocate your affections even if deep down, she'd like to."

"You seem bitter."

"Am I? I suppose I am. I've never gotten married."

"Why?"

"Because the woman I loved wasn't able to love me back."

"What about Sayoko?"

"I don't look at her that way."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"But she's pretty, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"And strong, too."

"Yes, but Anya; just because she possesses those qualities doesn't mean I'm going to marry her."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a little too tired and old to care about a wife, that's all. You might not understand at this age, but I screwed up a lot of things when I was in love a long time ago. I don't want to do it again."

"Then why take care of me here? You like me, right?" Anya asked reasonably.

He didn't answer the question. "It's late, Anya. I'm going to bed."

"Oh - okay," Anya said, a little hesitant. And hurt. He would tell her the entire story later, perhaps. "Goodnight."

_Goodnight, Anya. Sweet dreams._

* * *

Kallen set the teakettle on the stove. It would take some time to boil.

"When do you leave?" she asked him as she took out cups and saucer plates, her back facing him. He approached her and placed his arms around her tiny waist, lips softly kissing her neck and shoulder.

"Midnight. I was planning to pack later." His blond hair drifted across her skin, a sensation that made her shiver ever so slightly. She stopped her hands from moving and turned her head for better access to him. She smiled and kissed a corner of his mouth, sweetly and languidly.

"I notice that you don't have pictures of Lelouch in your pocket notebook anymore," Gino said.

"Yeah," Kallen said softly. "It was time to move on."

She received another lingering kiss. And another. And another, until she had decided she wanted more than his adoration.

Somehow they had landed on the couch, and somehow she was straddling him. It was a most peculiar sensation. Kallen had never used her own sexuality as a weapon, but her curiosity overcame her trepidation.

"Um - I've never done this before," Kallen confessed, and Gino could see the outline of her breasts through her blouse.

"You're joking," he said, eyes widened in disbelief.

"I had the opportunity before," she admitted, eyes downcast. "But I didn't want to at that time."

He considered this, and then decided it didn't matter. "It's better if we do it on the bed." He picked her up for the hell of it, grinning when she cried out, "Hey! I can walk there just fine by myself!"

"Yeah, but this is sexier," he said cheekily.

He placed on her bed, a big enough bed, and started kissing her collarbone. Kallen could slowly feel her body becoming limp at his ministrations, his gentle and tender caresses lulling her into a daze. As his lips were brushing against her sensitive spots, he was unbuttoning her blouse.

It was when he was attempting to unhook her bra that she said, "Wait - I can do this myself."

Her cheeks were pink as she slowly undid the clasp, revealing her breasts. Her blush bloomed even further when Gino said, "Kallen, you are so sexy."

"I wish they were smaller," she muttered, averting her eyes from him.

His response was to kiss her left breast which electrified her. Then he shoved his hand into her hair and held her close, his lips moving over hers. There was nothing gentle about the kiss; it turned fiery in an instant. Her soft whimpers almost snapped his self-control. His hand swept over her breast, stroking her sensitive skin until she arched her back and pressed her nipple into his palm. He smiled against her mouth, then broke the kiss and let his lips wander over her cheek, her temple, the corner of her eye.

She threaded her fingers in his hair, tightened her grip. Her hips jerked above him and she let out a strangled moan.

Gino couldn't help smirking. "You like that, huh?"

"Shut up," Kallen said weakly. Her hands were busy unzipping his jeans, she could feel his hard-on.

She'd seen penises before - saw her brother's when he was still alive, seen a few in the locker room when the resistance movement was full of hot-blooded men. But to see someone's fully aroused and standing up was different experience.

"See how hot you make me? Sometimes you don't even realize it," Gino whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"Gino?"

"Hm?"

"Can I touch it?"

He straddled her and ran his fingertips from her chest to downwards. "Touch what?"

Kallen closed her eyes. He knew what she meant. For some reason he wanted her to say it.

"Your cock, Gino."

He rested his chin lightly between her breasts, smiling his wonderful, boyish grin. "Kallen, you know as well as I do that you have full reign to touch me anywhere."

He led her hand to said cock, and it was hot and hard as a rock. She, with some hesitation, began to stroke it with her thumb, which elicited a groan from her lover.

"Am - am I doing this right?" she asked.

"I don't think there's a wrong way to do it," Gino said, his breath heavy. With her other hand, Kallen began to stroke his chest, running her fingers over his nipples. She liked that every movement, despite how inexperienced she was, brought out a strong reaction from him.

"Christ. You're so hot, Kallen."

"So are you," she whispered, nestling her body closer to his. She had never been as aroused in her life before this moment. Continuing to stroke his dick, it was only then that she realized something.

"Are you going to hurt me?"

"I'll try not to," he promised. He reached for his wallet from the nightstand, removing a condom from the wrapper and smoothed it over his shaft. "Good thing I had this, although I figured we wouldn't be having sex until later."

She giggled softly, and then confessed, "All I want is you inside of me."

His cock throbbed. "Are you sure, Kallen? This could very well be painful for you."

She nodded. "I want it to be good for you, Gino."

"Oh trust me, this is good," he groaned, and he ground his hips against hers, rubbing his dick against her clitoris. She let out an erotic moan that sent his senses haywire.

He stroked himself against her several times until he decided it was the moment to plunge himself into her.

She gasped, feeling herself expand by his fullness. Tears sprung against her will, and as much as she wanted it not to, it did hurt a lot. Kallen could feel Gino restraining himself, his fingers quickly brushing away her tears as his way of apology.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Did that hurt you?"

Kallen took a deep breath. "Not too bad. I think it's going away now - _ah_. Fuck." She winced as he shifted himself.

"Maybe I should come out - "

"_No_," Kallen said firmly. "Keep still," she instructed him, and she began to gently thrust herself on his dick, trying to find a comfortable position. It was slow and torturous, but Gino stayed true to her word, knowing that the pleasure would come soon.

The pain finally receded, and she felt more confident in her ability to encourage Gino to add more friction. He kept it deliberately slow, rocking his hips in a languid motion while pulling her closer. "Does my cock feel good inside of you?"

"Yes," she breathed. "How about you?"

"You have no idea how good this is for me, Kallen."

He stroked her skin, kissed her on the neck; whispering words of encouragement. All of these made her feel utterly feminine; it was a whole new perspective on how she usually felt about her own sexuality. The gentle pumping of his dick made her moan, sparks of pleasure streaked across her body.

"Can you do it harder?" she asked him. He kissed the corner of her mouth playfully and asked her, "You mean, you want me to fuck you?"

Sounded perfect, in her opinion. Her blue eyes met his own and he needed no further answer.

"Well, just tell me when to stop," he said, lifting one of his legs and placing it over his shoulder.

"I won't," Kallen promised, and it was that confidence that turned him on even further. He grinned and suddenly it was like they were on the opposite sides of the battlefield again. They were partners, but also rivals.

"I like a challenge," he said, in his husky voice, and her nipples tightened involuntarily. He looked at her straight in the eye, and drove his cock straight into her.

Kallen nearly bowed over from the pleasure. Eyes closed, she relished each powerful thrust, and she took her arms away from his back to caress her sensitive breasts. The ecstasy coursing through her body was consuming her.

Gino angled his thrusts so that he could have better access to her clitoris, and her erotic moans came in reckless abandon, gasping and panting with each electric shock of pleasure.

It wasn't long until an enormous pressure began to build up, and she felt as if she was about to burst. It was just too much; too much, really - and then -

She cried out his name, and arched her back, pushing every part of her body against his. A final moan that left her slightly out of breath followed, the aftershock leaving her limp, like a rag doll.

"Kallen, you're so beautiful," Gino said tenderly. His hands caressed her face with such love it almost wanted to make her cry.

"Come inside me," she said softly, and she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her and then gave one final thrust to which a series of events followed; his body tensed, emptying himself inside of her, and he groaned deeply against her neck. Then, as if his limbs had run out of strength, he collapsed on her.

Kallen closed her eyes in peace, breathing in his musky cologne and the smell of his sweat. In her years of living, she had never realized that having sex opened up a deeper connection than simple physical gratification. She was glad that her first time was with this boy, this boy that she trusted so much she could hardly breathe without him, who wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Gino kissed her, very lightly, on the mouth. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything," he said. And then, he whispered into her ear four words that made her feel like she was on top of the world:

"_I love you, Kallen._"

* * *

**author's note**: Writing a lemon... is surprisingly hard. Especially when you're a virgin. I underestimated the challenge of writing something like this, so I hope you like it.

On other note, I'm also sorry that this chapter is not as long as I'm sure many of you loyal readers have anticipated. I know it's almost been a year. But I still am in love with this story, I truly am - even though it's been two years since I've begun and my productivity is not as good as I would like it to be - I do know that I intend to finish it. If it takes ten years, fine; it'll take ten years!

_Please review; it would make my day :D_


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